He said what?

As I stood in the ladder aisle of Nyack's Home Depot weighing the merits of a steel, aluminum or fiberglass stepladder, a man who was checking out ladders with his significant other asked me if I was buying something for my boyfriend.

Mind you, he didn't ask who I was buying a ladder for. He asked if I was buying a ladder for my boyfriend, presupposing that I would (could?) not buy a ladder for myself.

Naturally, I gave him my I-don't-know-what-to-do-so-I'll-be-polite-because-that's-what-I-do-best smile and politely told him, no sir, I was buying a ladder for myself.

(There's a good possibility that my buying a ladder for myself would not have occured to him, but one would have to ask why. After all, being a small person such as myself would imply that I'd need a ladder more often than most. In fact, I ought to start carrying a ladder with me all times. It would certainly help with day-to-day tasks such as reaching those elusive boxes staring down on me from the top shelf at the grocers. I usually have to climb/step up on a few shelves to reach those boxes, which is a lawsuit waiting to happen.)

The stranger then very enthusiastically recommended I get the Little Giant Ladder and started to demonstrate. His significant other sighed. She sat on a stepladder step, crossed her legs and examined her long red nails. She may have been bored.

I flashed my teeth at him and politely told him that I had already decided on the stepladder I'd buy.

The strange man proceeded to tuck a Little Giant Ladder under his arm and walk down the aisle. His significant other followed in her leopard skin coat, her high heels clicking loudly on the poured concrete floor.

I took my stepladder and walked down the aisle in the other direction.

I am starting to wonder:
Do I look lost or confused?
Do I look like an asshole? (Oh wait. We've already established the answer to that one.)
Do I look like I might have stuck quarters or crayons up my nose as a child?

Who knows?

All I do know is...if I stuck anything up my nose as a child, I'm not telling. You'll never know.