28 June 2008

Ways to get to the water this summer

Get Wet

A water obsessive’s guide to beaches, creeks, lakes, swimming holes, and lazy, hazy rivers—all within two hours of midtown Manhattan.

read more digg story


Photoshelter)

NYC and Upstate


1. ROCKLAND LAKE STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 45
Get There By: Car. I-87 N. to Exit 11, go four miles on Rt. 9W N. Know This: Open sunrise to sunset; $6 per vehicle. Info: 845-268-3020.

2. LAKE WELCH BEACH, HARRIMAN STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Car. Palisades Pkwy. to Exit 16.
Cool Off: Largest of Harriman’s seven lakes, with 17 designated swimming areas.
Eats: A concession stand serves all the beach staples, including beer, which must be consumed in the patio area.
Know This: $7 vehicle fee. Info: 845-947-2444.

3. LAKE SEBAGO AND LAKE TIORATI BEACHES, HARRIMAN STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Car. See No. 2 directions, above.
Cool Off: Both lakes are less crowded than neighboring Lake Welch; smaller Tiorati gets the most families.
Know This: Weekend swimming 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., weekdays 10 to 6.
$7 per vehicle. Info: 845-351-2583 (Sebago); 845-351-2568 (Tiorati).

4. GREENWOOD LAKE
Minutes From Midtown: 70
Get There By: Car. I-80 W. to I-87 N. to Rt. 17 N.; end on Windmere Ave.
Cool Off: The lake has just one beach, but it’s gorgeous, tucked serenely between Hudson River Valley ridges.
Know This: Open daily 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.; $7 per vehicle. Info: villageofgreenwoodlake.org.

5. CANOPUS LAKE, CLARENCE FAHNESTOCK MEMORIAL STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Train. Metro-North to Cold Spring ($20.50 to $27.50 round trip); taxi to park (about $25; 845-265-8294).
Cool Off: Rent a rowboat at the Boathouse ($7 for an hour, $25 for the day) or just hit the beach for a swim.
Know This: Open daily sunrise to sunset. $7 per vehicle; free entrance if you cab it. Info: 845-225-7208.

6. CROTON POINT PARK, CROTON-ON-HUDSON
Minutes From Midtown: 50
Get There By: Car. I-87 to Exit 9, continue on Rt. 9 for ten miles, exit Croton Point Ave.
Cool Off: One of only a handful of places where you can swim cleanly in the Hudson River (and it’s the only spot within an hour’s drive of the city).
Know This: Open weekends only, 10 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.; $8 per vehicle. Info: 914-862-5290.

7. PLAYLAND PARK BEACH, RYE
Minutes From Midtown: 50
Get There By: Train. Metro-North to Rye ($13.50 to $18.50 round trip), bring along a MetroCard to board the Bee-Line Rt. 75 bus to Playland.
Cool Off: The amusement park is cleaner than Coney Island, closer than Six Flags, and faces a beach on a pretty stretch of Long Island Sound.
Eats: Cotton candy till you’re sick. Or Captain Hook’s on the boardwalk for something more substantial (914-925-0075).
Facilities: Rent beach chairs and umbrellas ($3 each), and ditch your valuables in a 75-cent locker at Playland.
Know This: Beach open 10 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.; adults $3, children $2; park admission free. Info: 914-813-7010.

8. POLLEPEL ISLAND, HUDSON RIVER
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Train. Metro-North to Cold Spring ($20.50 to $27.50 round trip). Tour operators Hudson Valley Outfitters depart from the Foundry Dock Park across from the station.
Cool Off: Take a guided kayak tour three miles up and down the Hudson that stops mid-river to explore the surreal Bannerman’s Castle.
Eats: A “waterproof” lunch on arrival at the island’s Wee Bay.
Know This: Closed to public except through guided tours. $120 per person. Info: hudsonvalleyoutfitters.com.

9. CONEY ISLAND, BROOKLYN
Minutes From Midtown: 45
Get There By: Subway. D, Q, N, or F train to Stillwell Avenue.
Cool Off: Coney’s 70-acre amusement area has been shorn to just nine measly acres—but the ocean’s still there!
Eats: Two words: Nathan’s Famous (1310 Surf Ave.; 718-946-2202).

10. BRIGHTON BEACH, BROOKLYN
Minutes From Midtown: 50
Get There By: Subway. B or Q to Brighton Beach.
Cool Off: No cleaner or prettier than the neighboring beaches, but where else can you eat a freshly baked pierogi on the sand?
Eats: Grab $6-a-pound pierogies at M&I International Food (249 Brighton Beach Ave.; 718-615-1011).
Know This: Emergency beach gear (chairs, umbrellas, sunscreen) goes for cheap on Stillwell Ave.

11. JACOB RIIS PARK, QUEENS
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Subway. A to Rockaway Park–116th St., transfer to the Q35 or Q22.
Cool Off: The so-called People’s Beach is decidedly laid-back; topless bathing is more or less ignored on the eastern stretch.
Eats:Unfurl picnics at the gazebos across from the parking area.
Know This: Beach open daily 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Info: 718-318-4300.


12. FORT TILDEN, QUEENS
Minutes From Midtown: 80
Get There By: Subway. A to Rockaway Park–116th St., transfer to the Q35 to the Breezy Point–169th St. stop.
Cool Off: The most remote of the city’s public beaches fronts a ruined WWII Army base. Pack a fishing rod and wrestle bluefish from the shore.
Facilities: No toilets or facilities of any type; it’s just you and the dunes.
Know This: Watch your step—poison ivy grows in abundance. Info: 718-318-4300.

13. SOUTH AND MIDLAND BEACHES, STATEN ISLAND
Minutes From Midtown: 70
Get There By: Ferry. Staten Island Ferry to the S51 bus to the beach.
Cool Off: Staten Island’s adjacent beaches are both family- and fisherman-friendly. South Beach has a new fishing pier. Midland holds its next sand-castle competition July 17.
Eats: Seafood lunch at South Fin Grill on the boardwalk (718-447-7679).
Know This: Open daily 10 a.m. to 6 a.m.

14. ORCHARD BEACH, THE BRONX
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Subway. 6 to Pelham Bay Park; free transfer to Bx5 or Bx12 bus.
Cool Off: To avoid the crowds—the park can see some 80,000 people on a hot weekend—head out to the beach’s southern- or northernmost points.
Eats: Typical beachside concessions plus Puerto Rican food in the plaza.
Know This: Open daily 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.

New Jersey


1. KITTATINNY POINT, DELAWARE WATER GAP
Minutes From Midtown: 90
Get There By: Car. Rt. 80 W. to Exit 1.
Cool Off: Follow the Blue Dot trail less than a mile along Dunnfield Creek to get to a small waterfall with an icy pool. It’s deep enough for a (very careful) jump from the ten-foot cliffs above.
Eats: Picnic on the summit of Mt. Tammany, picking your fill of wild blueberries along the way.
Know This: Grab a trail map at the Kittatinny Point Visitor Center, opposite the trailhead on the other side of Rt. 80 (908-496-4458).

2. DELAWARE RIVER, FRENCHTOWN
Minutes From Midtown: 80
Get There By: Car. Rt. 78 W. to Exit 15; follow signs for CR 513, left on Rt. 29.
Cool Off: Rent one tube for yourself and one for your beverages, and float together down a lazy, five-mile stretch of the Delaware River. The Delaware River Tubing Co. supplies rafts as well as tubes ($18 to $28; 908-996-5386).
Eats: “The Famous River Hot Dog Man,” Greg Crance, serves free barbecue on an island at the midway point.
Facilities: Changing rooms and key-check at the rental office; free busing to and from the parking lot.

3. D&R CANAL, PRINCETON
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Train. New Jersey Transit to Princeton ($22.50 round trip).
Cool Off: Paddle a double kayak through the placid waterway (but don’t jump out; there’s no swimming allowed) and onto Lake Carnegie. Princeton Canoe & Kayak also rents single kayaks and canoes (from $10; 609-452-2403).
Eats: Cool off alongside mammoth beer vats inside Triumph Brewing Company (609-924-7855).
Know This Cash or check only for rentals.

4. TERRACE POND, WAWAYANDA STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Car. Rt. 3 W. to Rt. 46 W. to Rt. 23 N. to Clinton Rd.
Cool Off: There’s technically no swimming allowed, but that doesn’t seem to stop people from plunging into Terrace Pond (really a glacial lake) about an hour’s hike up the blue trail.
Eats: Pack a lunch and eat it on any unoccupied cliff along the way. Know This: Info: 973-853-4462.

5. LAKE HOPATCONG
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Bus. Lakeland Bus Lines ($20.60 round trip; 973-366-0600).
Cool Off: Swimming in the 2,500-acre lake is limited to a guarded beach, though many rent Jet Skis or boats at nearby marinas and set off for a private cove.
Eats: Stock up on hot dogs and buns at Pathmark, near the bus drop-off.
Know This: Info: 973-398-7010.

6. SANDY HOOK
Minutes From Midtown: 40
Get There By: Ferry. SeaStreak ($43 round trip; 800-262-8743).
Cool Off: If you like to play volleyball in your birthday suit, take the shuttle to nudist-friendly Gunnison Beach. If you’ve got kids, or a more modest disposition, opt for South Beach. Save your back by renting chairs and umbrellas at the beach.
Eats: The Sea Gulls’ Nest has typical bar food and atypical, 360-degree views.
Know This: The last weekend ferry leaves Manhattan before noon and departs Sandy Hook at 5:45. Info: 732-872-5970.

7. MONMOUTH BEACH
Minutes From Midtown: 90
Get There By: Bus. Academy Bus ($25 round trip; 201-420-7000).
Cool Off: Most of the shoreline is private, but the Monmouth Beach Bathing Pavilion is a decent-size stretch with public admission—and it’s less crowded than is typical in northern New Jersey.
Know This: $8 entry fee per person.


National Geographic
Getty Images)

8. SPRING LAKE
Minutes From Midtown: 85
Get There By: Bus. Academy Bus ($30 round trip; 201-420-7000).
Cool Off: Opt for one of Spring Lake’s middle beaches, like Newark Avenue Beach, for a slightly roomier swim (and a slightly longer trek for food and bathrooms).
Know This: $8 entry fee per person (no charge for children 11 and under). Info: 732-449-8005.

9. MANASQUAN
Minutes From Midtown: 95
Get There By: Bus. Academy Bus ($30 round trip; 201-420-7000).
Cool Off: Surfers love the “Manasquan Bowl” at Inlet Beach, where the strong winds and surrounding jetties create up to fifteen-foot swells.
Eats: Join the locals for hot dogs at Carlson’s Corner (432 Beach Front; no phone), a summer-only spot less than a block from the water.
Know This: $6 entry fee per person on weekdays, $7 on weekends.

10. POINT PLEASANT
Minutes From Midtown: 95
Get There By: Bus. Academy Bus ($30 round trip; 201-420-7000).
Cool Off: Get a bird’s-eye view of the crowds below with Point Pleasant Parasail ($65 for single, $120 for doubles; 732-714-2359).
Eats: Great sundaes and “bobsicles” are a five-minute walk down the street at Hoffman’s Ice Cream (732-892-0270).

11. HOOKS CREEK LAKE, CHEESEQUAKE STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 55
Get There By: Car. Garden State Pkwy., Exit 120.
Cool Off: Surrounded by dense trees, the seven-acre lake feels completely removed from the surrounding exurbia (it can still get plenty crowded, though).
Know This: $10 per vehicle on weekends. Info: 732-566-2161.

12. ROUND VALLEY RECREATION AREA, LEBANON
Minutes From Midtown: 45
Get There By: Car. Rt. 78 W. to Exit 20.
Cool Off: Join day swimmers on the west side of the massive, 2,350-acre reservoir. Or if you’re camping, launch a canoe or kayak from the south parking lot.
Know This: $10 per vehicle on weekends. Info: 908-236-6355.

13. SHEPHERD LAKE, RINGWOOD STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Car. Take the I-87 N. to Exit 15A.
Cool Off: No matter how humid it is, the spring-fed lake remains refreshingly cool. Added bonus: There are 35 miles of marked hiking trails plus 25 miles of unmarked fire roads, great for mountain biking.
Know This: $10 per vehicle, weekends. Info: 973-962-7031.

Long Island & Fire Island


1. LONG BEACH
Minutes From Midtown: 50
Get There By: Train. Long Island Rail Road (LIRR) to Long Beach ($18 round trip, includes $10 beach admission).
Cool Off: Surfers come for the waves at Lincoln Blvd., partyers for bars along Park Ave. and West End’s Beech St.
Eats: Plenty of options along Park Ave., or grab a slice at Gino’s Pizzeria (516-432-8193) while you stumble back to the train station. Know This: $10 a person. Info: 516-431-1021.

2. JONES BEACH STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 50
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Freeport, transfer to the N88 bus ($15 round trip).
Cool Off: Despite 6.5 miles of oceanfront, it gets mighty crowded. Field 2 usually provides ample sand space. The bay beach is a kid haven.
Know This: Info: 516-785-1600.

3. NICKERSON BEACH PARK, LIDO
Minutes From Midtown: 55
Get There By: Car. Meadowbrook Pkwy. S. to Loop Pkwy. to Point Lookout. Turn right onto Lido Blvd.
Cool Off: Send the kids off to the adventure playground and skate park while you catch up on your trash reading.
Know This: $20 per vehicle. Info: 516-571-7700.

4. TOBAY BEACH, OYSTER BAY
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Car. State Pkwy. to Wantagh State Pkwy., to Jones Beach Causeway.
Cool Off: Few crowds, calm waters, and expansive views. The catch: Nonresidents permitted only Monday through Friday.
Eats: Hit Singletons Seafood Shack for fried goodness (516-826-1610).
Know This: $30 per vehicle. Info: 516-679-3900.

5. ROBERT MOSES STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Babylon, transfer to the S47 bus ($17 round trip).
Cool Off: Break from all that surfing and fishing you’ve been doing, and try out the 18-hole pitch-and-putt right on the ocean (club rentals $2, course rates $10; 631-669-0449).
Know This: Info: 631-669-0470.

6. CAPTREE STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 70
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Babylon, transfer to the S47 bus (mandatory travel package is $40, $34.50 for kids 11 and under; includes round-trip fare and four hours on a fishing boat).
Cool Off: A fishermen’s Mecca. Admission to Captree covers everything from charter boats to rods to worms.
Eats: Captree Cove’s chowder bar is the place aprés-fish (631-376-1866).
Know This: Info: 631-669-0449.

7. HECKSCHER STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 70
Get There By: Car. Long Island Expy. to the Sagtikos State Pkwy. to Heckscher State Pkwy.
Cool Off: For the wave-phobic, the park offers the calmer waters of Great South Bay and a pool.
Eats: A seven-mile drive puts you at the Gatsby (631-581-1900), a restored mansion in Islip, for dinner.
Know This: $8 per vehicle; pool access $2 for adults, $1 for kids. Info: 631-581-2100.


8. SUNKEN MEADOW STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Car. Long Island Expy. to Northern State Pkwy. E. to Sunken Meadow State Pkwy. N.
Cool Off: One of the few major beaches on the Long Island Sound, Sunken Meadow has much calmer swimming than its ocean brethren. The terrain gets prettier to the west, thanks to tall, glacier-formed bluffs.
Eats: Ciro’s 107 in King’s Park (a one-mile drive) serves Italian peasant food and good wines (631-269-2600).
Know This: $8 per vehicle. Info: 631-269-4333.

FIRE ISLAND
9. SAILORS HAVEN

Minutes From Midtown: 90
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Sayville ($24 round trip, includes ferry transport to Fire Island; $5 shuttle to ferry).
Cool Off: As the name implies, the main attraction is the 48-slip public marina. But an even better draw is the boardwalk trail through the serene Sunken Forest.
Know This: Info: 631-597-6183.

10. WATCH HILL BEACH
Minutes From Midtown: 95
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Patchogue ($24 round trip includes ferry transport), short walk to ferry.
Cool Off: Go dune camping: All 26 sites are within earshot of the ocean ($20 a night, two-night minimum; 631-567-6664).

11. OCEAN BEACH
Minutes From Midtown: 100
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Bay Shore ($28 round trip includes ferry transport; $4 taxi to ferry).
Cool Off: No radios, Frisbees, or picnicking on the beach (no alcohol either). But you’re in close proximity to the nightly villagewide frat party.
Know This: Info: 631-583-5940.

12. CHERRY GROVE
Minutes From Midtown: 90
Get There By: Train. LIRR to Sayville ( $20 to $40 round trip, plus $5 shuttle to ferry; $14 round-trip ferry).
Cool Off: Quiet, nudist-filled beach days coupled with wild, stripping-by-disco-light nights.
Eats: Have a beer while you watch the sun set from a second-floor deck of Cherry’s Pit (631-597-6820).

Connecticut


1. SHERWOOD ISLAND STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Train. Metro-North to Westport (from $20.42 round trip), cab to the park (about $10; 203-227-5157).
Cool Off: Technically a peninsula, the park is far enough from the mainland that the name seems appropriate. That buzzing you hear is the radio-controlled airplanes rolling stunts in the fields across the parking lot.
Know This: Info: 203-226-6983.

2. CALF PASTURE BEACH
Minutes From Midtown: 60

Get There By: Train. Metro-North to East Norwalk (from $18.52 round trip), then cab or walk to the beach (about $5; 203-853-1267).
Cool Off: Rent kayaks at the Norwalk Sailing School (from $15; 203-852-1857), then paddle the kayak trail to the beaches of Shay and Ram Islands and on to Sheffield Island, where you can tour a 140-year-old lighthouse.
Eats: Stew Leonard’s runs the concession stand, which has everything from hot dogs to whole lobsters (served on weekend nights only).
Know This: Info: 203-854-7806.

3. PENFIELD BEACH, FAIRFIELD
Minutes From Midtown: 75
Get There By: Car. I-95 N. to Exit 21.
Cool Off: After a swim at Penfield or its neighbor, Jennings Beach, walk along the water to the historic Penfield Lighthouse, still in use by the U.S. Coast Guard. Penfield’s jetty is dangerous at high tide, so take a walk on Jennings’s instead.
Eats: Everything from fish and chips to salmon wraps at the Penfield concession stand.
Know This: $15 per vehicle weekdays; $25 on weekends and holidays. Info: 203-256-3191.

4. SEASIDE PARK BEACH
Minutes From Midtown: 120
Get There By: Car. I-95 N. to Exit 27.
Cool Off: Two and a half miles of coastline is hard to beat. But the park itself is also notable—it was designed by Central Park’s Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux, and funded by P. T. Barnum as a gift to his hometown, Seaside Park.
Know This: $20 per out-of-state car. Info: 203-576-7233.

5. PEAR TREE POINT BEACH, DARIEN
Minutes From Midtown: 60
Get There By: Car. Take I-95 N. to Exit 10.
Cool Off: A true locals’ spot, in no small part because of the extortionate entrance fees. The soft sand and sheltered waters of the “back beach” are great for kids.
Know This: $40 per car. Info: 203-656-7325.

6. WALNUT BEACH, MILFORD
Minutes From Midtown: 90
Get There By: Car. I-95 N. to Exit 34.
Cool Off: Quieter than a lot of the state’s beaches, and with some of the best sand, too. On a clear day, you can see across the sound.
Eats: No concession stand, though the cafés and restaurants in Milford are within walking distance.
Know This: $5 per vehicle. Info: 203-783-3280.

7. SILVER SANDS STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 90
Get There By: Car. I-95 N. to Exit 35.
Cool Off: Take a low-tide walk out to forested Charles Island, where, legend has it, Captain Kidd stashed his treasure in 1699. Just be sure to find out when the tides are changing, so you don’t get stuck.
Know This: Unlike most of Connecticut’s beaches, it’s free. Info: 203-735-4311.

8. INDIAN WELL STATE PARK
Minutes From Midtown: 100
Get There By: Car. Merritt Pkwy. to Exit 52.
Cool Off: One of the only swim spots in the area, the park is often jammed with Housatonic River splashers.
Know This: $7 per out-of-state car during the week; $10 on weekends and holidays; $4 after 4 p.m. Info: 203-735-4311.

08 June 2008

I'm a type B person. Honest!

The Coffee Junkie’s Guide to Caffeine Addiction

Because the drug is linked to the production of adrenaline and cortisol, hormones which are in turn associated with the fight-or-flight response, says Duke’s James Lane, “for someone with a busy, stressful job, little stresses elicit big responses on caffeine, and big stresses elicit huge responses.” Lane once did a study in which he compared caffeine’s effects on type-A versus type-B personalities. “Caffeine tended to make type Bs into type As,” he says. “Their blood pressure went up. They rose to challenges.” The type As didn’t get any more ambitious; they just became more excitable

read more

Photographs by Mitchell Feinberg. Food styling by Sara Jane.

Caffeine is the world’s most widely used psychoactive substance because it works, and quickly. Caffeine enters the bloodstream almost instantaneously upon ingestion. Within 30 to 45 minutes it has permeated nearly every cell in the body. Because it slips effortlessly across the blood-brain barrier—a sort of filter that prevents bacteria, viruses, and most drugs from entering the brain—it penetrates the cerebral cortex unimpeded. Once inside the central nervous system, caffeine is believed to plug up the receptors of adenosine, a neuromodulator that acts like a brake on nerve cells firing their messages across synapses. With the neural sluice gates open, more messages flood through, resulting, it’s said, in a sense of heightened mental quickness. “It makes people feel good, it increases their arousal and alertness, and makes them more friendly and sociable and talkative,” says Laura Juliano, an American University psychology professor, coffee researcher, and substance-dependence expert. Adenosine is also linked to the onset of sleep; rats injected with it have been observed to keel over unconscious, then wake up a few minutes later. When we pull a coffee-fueled all-nighter, “we’re blocking the adenosine telling us to go to sleep because we’re tired,” says James Lane, a professor of psychology at Duke University Medical Center who has been studying the effects of caffeine since the eighties. Caffeine also greatly aids physical endurance and athletic performance, allowing one to go longer and stronger to such an extent that the International Olympic Committee once limited its use as a performance enhancer, though it lifted the restriction in 2004.

Caffeine is classified pharmacologically as a stimulant, a cousin of cocaine and amphetamines, including Adderall and other substances in the increasingly popular cognitive-improvement prescription-drug toolbox. ... The difference between caffeine and other stimulants is, in part, a matter of degree. Like its pharmacological cousins, caffeine signals the body to release adrenaline (hence the heightened sense of energy). Caffeine also slightly raises levels of dopamine, the brain’s feel-good hormone. Cocaine and amphetamines essentially do the same thing, only they create not just a pleasant feeling but outright euphoria. Methamphetamine and crack, because they’re highly concentrated, create an even more intense feeling. But the higher a drug’s highs, the lower its lows, which is why a crack user needing a fix might rob an elderly neighbor at gunpoint while a coffee drinker might simply get snippy with co-workers.

... a more substantive difference between caffeine and related stimulants. Because the brain develops a tolerance to all of these drugs, ever-increasing quantities are required to achieve the same high. What makes caffeine more desirable, or less potentially dangerous, than other stimulants is its built-in restraining mechanism. Technically called caffeinism, it’s the state in which an overcaffeinated user hits the drug’s “dysphoric” range and is overcome by the shakes, anxiety, tension, and nausea. Caffeine, that is, is self-regulating. “That’s one of the secrets of caffeine and probably why it’s accepted worldwide,” says Roland Griffiths, professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at Johns Hopkins and the unofficial dean of caffeine researchers. “With cocaine and amphetamines, when you increase the doses, you generally get increased stimulation and well-being.” Too much cocaine makes you feel invincible; too much coffee makes you think you’re having a nervous breakdown.

Studies touting newly discovered benefits of coffee and caffeine are published every few weeks. (April 8, 2008, bulletin: Caffeine may help prevent autoimmune diseases such as multiple sclerosis.) Drinking moderate amounts of coffee is believed to slash rates of Parkinson’s disease, inhibit the formation of gallstones, and ward off cirrhosis. It may help prevent Alzheimer’s. Caffeine relieves asthma symptoms by acting as a bronchodilator. Researchers who fed mice caffeinated water found that the animals were less likely to develop skin cancer... One large-scale study showed that a person’s suicide risk decreased with each cup of coffee consumed per day, up to seven cups (notably, though, eight cups or more was shown in a separate study to increase the risk substantially). Caffeine is probably not as bad a diuretic as it’s reputed to be; many nutritionists now believe that a cup of coffee hydrates people about as well as a cup of water... Another study showed that a serving of coffee has more antioxidants than a serving of either grape juice or blueberries.

... And now the bad. A study published earlier this year demonstrated that pregnant women who consume 200 milligrams of caffeine or more per day (that’s less than one Tall Starbucks drip coffee or three six-ounce cups of traditional coffee) are more than twice as likely to have a miscarriage as those who don’t use any. Too much caffeine during gestation may also contribute to low birth weights in children and result in babies born with a caffeine dependence. Large daily doses may also be a factor in female infertility. A study released in late May found that drinking coffee before breakfast could cause blood-glucose levels to rise sharply, which can be dangerous for people with type 2 diabetes. Drinking large amounts of caffeine has been found to exacerbate osteoporosis. And despite the popular idea that caffeine can relieve migraines, doctors say it more often causes them (Caffeine withdrawal seems to be the trigger).

The most serious negative effects of hypercaffeination involve stress and sleeplessness. Because the drug is linked to the production of adrenaline and cortisol, hormones which are in turn associated with the fight-or-flight response, says Duke’s James Lane, “for someone with a busy, stressful job, little stresses elicit big responses on caffeine, and big stresses elicit huge responses.” Lane once did a study in which he compared caffeine’s effects on type-A versus type-B personalities. “Caffeine tended to make type Bs into type As,” he says. “Their blood pressure went up. They rose to challenges.” The type As didn’t get any more ambitious; they just became more excitable. Stress has been linked to everything from cancer to sexual dysfunction to depression. Before she prescribes an antianxiety drug like Xanax, Juliano advises her patients to quit coffee.