31 October 2007

Happy Sluttoween!

For Halloween, I plan on taking a white flat bedsheet with eye-holes cut out, throwing it over myself so it covers me head-to-toe, and calling myself a slutty ghost. When it comes to Halloween costumes, anything will work as long as the word "slutty" proceeds it.

See: here's a dog dressed up as a slutty ghost. Kinky.


(Picture from http://www.costumedogs.com/tag/halloween/)

25 October 2007


Break out of your relationship ruts

A conflict rut
How to recognize it: You argue about the same things all the time and find yourself avoiding entire subjects because they trigger fights.

How to bust out of it: Take a vacation from the conflict at hand. "Tell your partner that the way you fight isn't working and you both need to take time off from talking about the issue," says psychologist Howard Markman. Put it aside for a few days and force yourselves as a couple to do things that you both love. (It's hard, but try.)

Meanwhile, think about what's really bothering you: If you fight about chores or tardiness, consider whether a desire for respect or control is at the crux of it.

After the break, set a time to talk about the issue, but don't try to resolve it. Take turns talking and listening to each other's points of view to understand what's at the root of the problem for each of you. "About 70 percent of small conflicts -- about money, household tasks, in-laws -- don't need to be resolved," says Markman. "Both people just want to be heard, and they need to stop fighting destructively for that to happen."Real Simple: How to disagree agreeably

A romantic rut
How to recognize it: Date night? What's that? That thing you replaced with "Your turn to bathe the kids" night or "I'm working late again" night.

How to bust out of it: You know how to schedule, so don't forget to make an appointment with your partner. Pick nights or weekends you both agree on, and take turns planning outings.
Simply tell the other person what clothes to have ready. (And have fun with it. Going skiing? Have him throw in his swimsuit and goggles to keep him on his toes.)

It doesn't have to be a grand plan: Start a book club -- with just the two of you as members. Or have a romantic candlelit dinner with pizza, beer, and ice cream instead of fancy food.

What shouldn't you do? Hound him about how unromantic he is. It will probably backfire. If you're feeling underromanced, set an example by doing the things for him that you wish he would do for you, like buying him flowers, advises psychologist Steve Brody: "If you wish he would kiss you passionately when he walks in the door, go up and plant one on him -- he'll respond!" Real Simple: How to make yourself unforgettable

The can't-close-the-deal rut
You're ready to take your relationship to the next level -- to move in together, get married, or have a baby -- but your partner won't make that commitment. You love each other, but should you just end it? Psychologist Howard Markman, who runs relationship workshops (www.loveyourrelationship.com), offers four steps to help you decide.

1. Ask yourself if your relationship is healthy. Do you handle conflict well? Do you have fun together? Is your relationship sensually or sexually satisfying? Are you both faithful and dedicated to it? "If all those components are in place, you're ready to move forward," Markman says. If not, try counseling or a relationship class.

2. Make your views clear. If your partnership checks out OK, talk about what you'd like to see happen next. Then ask your partner to do the same. Hear each other out, then try to talk through any underlying issues. For instance, maybe he's not ready to have a baby because he wants to gain more financial stability first.

3. If you don't reach a resolution in step 2, agree to disagree. But make a plan to revisit the conversation at a later date. The person who is holding the relationship back might end up with more power, which can be a destabilizing force, Markman says. That's why it's best to try to talk through what the underlying issues are in step 2.

4. Decide when time is up. If your relationship is healthy, it's fair to give it another three to six months. At that point, express again how you're feeling and what you want.
The relationship could automatically move forward (break open the Champagne!); you might develop a plan of action for how to take the next step (which at least calls for a toast); or one person may make it clear that his feet are firmly planted (cork it). In that case, only you can decide whether it's best to stick with the person or part ways.

If you do the latter, says Markman, "end it as cleanly, openly, and honestly as you can and move forward with your life."

21 October 2007

my next car

Those of you who speak to me on a regular basis know that I've been shopping around for a new car. It'll most likely be a Subaru wagon, although this car featured on Top Gear would be pretty cool.


(Thanks to CB for the find.)

12 October 2007

Douchey responds


I feel for him, but only a little. It doesn't make me think he's less of a douchebag.

A note from "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD". Stalin. Hitler. Bin Laden. John Fitzgerald Page. Somehow, I am ranked at #1. My crime - murder? treason? pedophilia? rape? No, worse. A woman winked at me on the internet. I sent her an introdutory email. She tried to rescind her initial wink by saying we weren't a "personality" match . She ascertained that from my first email without ever speaking to me. Here is my crime. Instead of just letting her float away, I let her know that I feel that if you approach me, you should meet my standards and listed facts about myself.

She took this personal email, sent to her only, and sent it out to everyone in America. In turn, every blog in America has villified me. I am being threatened with bodily harm, told to kill and neuter myself, that I am a douchebag, etc. My phone rings and email hums day and night, even the New York Times has called (Is this really an noteworthy news story)?. People feel it is okay to post my phone number, address and personal email in attack blogs.

Let me ask you this? Which friend would you rather have - a straight shooter who doesn't waste your time, or someone who can take any PRIVATE email, phone call or letter and put it out there to the world if you cross them? Anyone of you could be in my shoes overnight. Do you feel you have any expectation of privacy when you talk on the phone, send someone an email or a letter? I do. I did not threaten her in any way.

Let me give you a tip about internet dating. Men lie about their height. Women lie about their weight. If a person has nothing but pictures of their head, they are not height/weight proportional. It is a cold reality. I have standards, as we all do. Typically, you approach people above your standards. I am looking for someone who is educated and who takes care of themselves. That is all.

All of the facts on this website are true. I am not Alexsey Vayner, there are no videos on here of me hitting tennis balls at 200 mph! Just because you can't find it, haven't heard about it, can't see it or don't know about it doesn't mean it did not happen. This is a website for my SIDE career, acting/modeling. I know I am not Brad Pitt. But Mr. Whipple gets work too! All types are needed, and I am struggling like any other person in this business. I like to be on the movie set, meeting the stars, learning how movies are made, and especially eating all the craft service! In my real career, all I need is a resume and a degree. In this world, you are a piece of meat. Current pictures of body and face are needed (I have done casting). They need to know what you have done in the past. This website allows me to showcase all of my work in one place and is used to get jobs in this field.

I graduated from Penn. I took my name out of the database to avoid donation solicitations. It is the oldest UNIVERSITY, not college in the country. I am not gay, although I do try to dress nicely. This is, unfortunately, my real hair. My statistics are just that - facts about me. If I said I drove a Pinto, went to community college and worked as a bag boy, would everone be so upset? I am not jealous of others. All of my friends have something better than I do, they are smarter, more educated, more cultured, etc. I try to take the best of others and learn from people that are doing better than I am.

I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have no emotional I.Q. I am not much of a decorater. I am an orphan. I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio. I weighed 140 lbs. in high school. I come from a loving family - my dad (who died when I was 10) did 3 tours of 'Nam, received 2 Purple Hearts and a Silver Star during 19 years in the Army. My mom (she just died 2 years ago) worked the same job for 30 years. I have no siblings or grandparents and have been on my own since 17. I have no one to fall back on, so I have to be aggressive and go for my deams - I can't rely on anyone else. We all have that instintual survival mechanism. I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first.

I understand the pyschology is to be angry at me. But when you think about it, do you want every single PRIVATE thing you write or say to be put out to the universe? That would be a scary, P.C. world. Pyschology is something I really don't understand. A girl I am interested in will approach me on a dating site, and we will have a pleasant exchange. A girl who I am not interested in will approach, then when she doesn't hear back from me, will delete me in a day or so. Why? To make herself feel better. I apologize for not having the emotional intelligence to understand this.

Every single piece of my life has been put up for scrutiny. I only ask this - do you feel the punishment is worth the crime? An overnight internet pariah for sending a girl a personal email? Everything I have ever worked for in my life has been sullied in one day, by one person. Before you cast the next stone - would you like your life ruined over anything you have ever said or written? My reputation is all I have. It has been severly damaged and can never be repaired. I cannot fight an overwhelming army of bloggers. My future grandkids wil be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now. This is the time when my true friends will step forward.

Inside, I am a good person. I am generous with my friends. I am friendly, outgoing and funny. I take people on face value. I can be abrasive and obnoxious at times - I admit that. Animals and children love me (maybe because I don't have any). I am constantly using my connections to help others. I don't smoke or do drugs. I basically leave people be, as I do not believe life is a zero sum game.

The public hanging of me is making many of you happy. The catch-22 for you is that no publicity is bad publicity. I am getting offers for things - movies, books, TV shows. I have turned down every request. This is not a joke. Don't let this happen to you. Anything you ever write or say can be used against you and can turn your life from normal into a living hell. I think all of this venom should be saved for terrrorist, rapists, murderers etc. All I ask is that you put my "crime" in proper perspective. I sent a not very nice private email to someone. That is all.

dude, he is SOOO hot


John Fitzgerald Page Actor/Model my ass. Gawker's right. This guy IS a douche.

I started in "the business" years ago modeling for Wright Models during high school. I used my 98th percentile score on the SAT & ACT to acquire a Mensa membership then combined that with my 97th percentile G.P.A. to go on to a five star collegiate program.

I was educated at the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League institution founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin - the oldest university in the nation. I was social chairman of my fraternity, published the humor magazine and took classes at the Wharton School of Business (perennially ranked #1 in the world).

I have worked & consulted for several Fortune 500 companies, including Time Warner, USA Today, GTE, Sprint, Pitney Bowes & Limited Brands. I have saved 2 of these companies almost $1 million dollars combined. I was the financial analyst during the $680 million dollar initial public offering of Intimate Brands (includes Victoria's Secret and Bath & Body Works) and also created a $22 million budget from scratch for them.

I am an avid traveler and have been to St. Thomas & St. John, Aruba and Zurich. I have lived in / visited almost every major city in the United States, having seen 38 of the 50 states.

I am well connected, having lunched with the U.S. Secretary of Defense & the U.S. Ambassador to South Africa during the time I spent in Washington, D.C.

I have been in the "fame game" for years, meeting celebrities like Luke Perry, Cynthia Nixon, Dave Matthews, Jeff Foxworthy, Joe Montana, Toby Keith & LeAnn Rimes to name a few.

I have appeared in 13 major motion pictures and counting...

08 October 2007

rick salomon? really?

come on pam, you can do better than that.


[Pamela] Anderson has had two high-profile marriages – to ex-husbands Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, who famously fought at this year's MTV Video Music Awards. [Rick] Salomon, 38, is divorced from actress Shannen Doherty.

And they do have at least one scandalous tie – both have appeared in sex tapes: Salomon with Paris Hilton, and Anderson with Lee.

a gay bomb?


This year's planned Ig Nobel program included a two-minute speech by keynote speaker Doug Zongker consisting only of the word "chicken," and a mini-opera entitled "Chicken versus Egg," performed by professional mother-daughter opera singers Gail Kilkelly and Maggie McNeil.

Most winners are more than happy to accept their awards from real Nobel laureates at the typically rowdy ceremony, including seven of the 10 winners this year. But there are still a few sticks-in-the-mud, magazine editor Marc Abrahams said.

The U.S. Air Force won the Ig Nobel Peace Prize this year for its proposal to develop a "gay bomb" -- a chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers want to make love with each other, not war with the enemy.

Abrahams talked to a number of retired and active Air Force personnel to try and get someone to accept the prize in person on behalf of the military. None would.

04 October 2007

i'm hungry

why ted koppel's a news anchor

now i know why ted koppel's a news anchor. i was part of the studio audience for The Daily Show with John Stewart last night, and hearing ted koppel live was like using cashmere q-tips to clean my ears. niiiiice, smoooth and silky. a gillette commercial.

having never been to a live taping of a fake news broadcast, i didn't realize how:
  • small all the furniture on the set looks
  • what a normal guy john stewart is the camera's on, when he oozes charm and charisma
  • john stewart's not as short as i expected b/c i've always heard people comment on how short he is so i expected someone 3 feet tall
  • that rob riggle is better looking in real life
  • john oliver is adorably tiny

the show only had to redo one scene, the one for dark liquid. and, if you listen very carefully, you might be able to pick out the laughs of b and me in the studio audience.