In the "Program"

I'm sorry, I've been absolutely remiss in my finger exercises lately (as some of you have reminded me). Life has been crazed lately. Oh, when I say life, I actually mean work, which just goes to show how much of a life I have.

I want to share some news: My managers recently announced that they pulled some strings, and I'm now part of the "Program," Class of 2006!

(Ok, for the communists/socialists out there who have told me that I'm on the path to becoming an oppressor, this will probably cement that belief. Just know that I'm not oppressing anyone. Honest, I'm just a pawn!)

To provide a little context, each year a list of participants in the "Program" are distributed firmwide -- it's a way of announcing promotions and of welcoming recent business school grads to the firm. It's competitive.

When I accepted my current job, I was told I was ineligible for a promotion because I ranked in the third to bottom quartile compared to my peers and my group at the time didn't want to put me up for promotion. In many ways, taking my current job was risky; it was looked down on as an operational job, and I would be a junior man on the team again. Also, my peers were getting promoted, but I would have to repeat another year.

But, what did I care? I sucked at my job, hated going to work, and my boss was an assface. I had 80% of a mind to take my bonus, travel for 3 months, learn to surf, windsurf, learn to paint, temp, work at starbucks...something... Then, I met with my now managers, ADubya and Marj, and had a great feeling about them. The responsible 20% of me convinced me to stick around and try it out. After all, there is nothing wrong with changing my mind down the road and leaving if things didn't work out. It's part of the human condition -- sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse. Anyway, I rationalized it by telling myself having a steady paycheck meant more travel and windsurfing.

The cool thing was, even though I was ineligible for a promotion until a year into my new job, ADubya and Marj promoted me six months in. It was half a year after my peers had already been promoted, but to echo the fabulous Mr Ed, the horse that's more than just a horse, a promotion is a promotion is a promotion (unless it's Mr Ed's promotion). And, I wasn't going to complain about the slight bump in my paycheck either. But, the real effect it had was how good it felt to do something I was halfway decent at and liked (most of the time). I really like my team, working for and with people who believe in me and have no problems providing incentives so I would continue to stay encouraged and motivated.

When I was promoted, I was told that I was ineligible for the "Program." It probably had to do with my poor reviews from my old job, the fact I was supposed to be ineligible for a promotion, and also because I wasn't part of the normal hiring cycle which started in August. Either way, ADubya and Marj told me that the most they could do was the promotion, but I wouldn't be part of the program and shouldn't sweat it.

So, imagine my surprise when I got an email from HR welcoming me into the program for this year's new class! ADubya and Marj thought this would be something I'd want, and they told me that this was their way of keeping me encouraged and motivated.

They sure do know when to throw a dog a bone -- I've been so overworked lately that I've been saying things like, "Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret."

Just kidding.

Here's a picture of me at work.

During really stressful (aka annoying) moments at work, these are the pleasant thoughts that run through my mind:

"What the fuck am I doing here?!?!"
"I could be doing something else right now. Something more fun."
"I could be in Hawaii!"
"I could be getting more sleep!"
"I could be outside!"
"I don't get paid enough to put up with this crap."
"I better get paid this year, or I'm leaving."
"I hate everyone."
"I'm not answering that call."
"Why am I getting this email?"
"Asshole."

And the list goes on and on.

Also, my living situation's been wearing on me lately. I've been feeling the urge to live somewhere with a sense of permanency. You know, paint the walls, hang paintings, put up shelves, buy and mount a flat panel tv, own real furniture / dishes / nice pots and pans (instead other people's cast-offs and my post-college Ikea furniture), have a washer-dryer in my apt, and a small home office separate from my room with a real desk, drawers, shelves, filing cabinets, etc.

Yes, in case you thought you misread, I actually said FILING CABINETS. It's a testament to how boring my life has become (or, how little space I have in my apartment) that I dream of a day when I can live somewhere where I have room for filing cabinets. Ridicule me all you want, but when I get my filing cabinets, I'll be more organized than you. So there.

Ok, I think what started this was the whole laundry situation, which totally blows. And, I wouldn't let the lack of small home office be a dealbreaker. I mean, a home with a den is baller, and deep down inside, I'm just a simple South Carolina country girl, so I'd be happy with a home without one.

I've been looking at 2BR, 2BAs in Queens and B'lyn (as I fully expect Bren to move with me if I go and she's still living here) but, in case any of you have been looking in the area lately, the real estate situation is out of control. So, I keep squirreling money away (by squirreling, I mean buying windsurfing gear) and hoping for a day when I can unpack all my boxes and hang my paintings and finally buy that flat screen 42 inch plasma tv and some filing cabinets.