If it ain't broken, why fix it?

Ok, let me just bitch for a quick moment...

I was checking my myspace account, and I saw a banner. I've probably seen this banner a million times, but never truly paid attention. It's right over the login area of myspace. I wish I had the foresight to save a picture of the banner so I could post it.

It was a picture of a cut man taking off a tank top, and over it were the words:


I kid you not.

I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not, so like a moth drawn to flame, I clicked on it. It took me to www.wealthymen.com. It was like watching an accident -- I had to see who would actually sign up on this website, and it wouldn't let me browse the postings without being signed up, so I signed up with a random user name and my spam email address.

Oh. My. God. Were these people serious?

The website contained people who wanted to hook up with rich people -- rich old dudes looking for young chicks, gay men looking for rich lovers, and people who wanted to be around rich people so they could get stuff. Interestingly enough, the wealthy men I saw on the website always described their ideal woman as someone who was smart/intelligent, grounded/low maintenance, beautiful/hot/sexy, and needed to be open-minded about sex. No matter how they phrased their description of their ideal woman, those were they key attributes.

Ok, let's be honest here. Those guys don't care if a woman is smart or low maintenance. They say that because that's the "nice guy" thing to do -- politically correct. If a guy's looking for a smart low maintenance woman, he doesn't exactly post a personal on


You know, I always had more respect for the panhandler holding a sign that reads, "Need money for beer" than for the obviously inebriated hustler on the street holding a sign that reads "Need money for food and shelter." At least the former is honest. Try following a hustler after he's got $20 and see if he walks into the nearest grocery store or liquor store. Life on the street is rough, and it's easier to handle while drunk or high than sober and on a full stomach.

Anyway, I digress.

My point is, the first two characteristics are obviously not important, so why lie? Instead of hiding behind polite, socially acceptable language, the personals might as well have read, "My ideal woman needs to be 20 years younger than me, smokingly hot, and want to sleep with me, because I'm rich and career successful. If I'm going to spend money on you, you better sleep with me and be good at sex. Thanks."

(By the way, career successful should not be confused with actual success. As anyone with a head on his shoulders knows, money or job title does not happiness or success make.)

It got me thinking though... I mean, I'm certain there are plenty of wealthy single women out there. Is there a corresponding sister website called WealthyWomen.com? Nope, no such luck.

So, I Googled "wealthy women dating site" and found a million dating and matchmaking services offering to match single women with wealthy men. There were tons of links to Russian Brides and hot/sexy/fill-in-any-arbitrary-porn-adjective Russian and Ukrainian girls.

Hmm, not what I'm looking for.

Then, jackpot: www.sugardaddies.com.

Now, I know what you're thinking - this still about wealthy men and single women and not vice versa. It's not.

There are two options: the user can be a Sugar Daddie [sic] or a Sugar Mommie. And, as someone browsing for a wealthy person, you can be a male or female Sugar Babe.

Finally, a website that doesn't just assume that all women want be taken care of by a rich man, but that some men may want to be taken care of by a rich woman. How refreshing.

But, bear with me here and let me take a step back and read what the intro page to the website says. The motto is "Where the classy, attractive, and affluent can meet." It then goes on to imply that millionaires, CEOs, Doctors, Lawyers, Models, Benefactors, etc. use this service.

I wanted to see proof of their claims, so I went to the testimonials page. The first testimonial read:

I just wanted to say thanks for your site. Although IÂ’m by no means wealthy ($120k a year) I was able to find on your site an amazing, beautiful, kind, bright and tolerant woman who is 14 years younger. We have been together for about 10 months. We just learned a couple of weeks ago that we are going to have a baby! We already have a puppy and are forming a family. I even bought a 4 door car! We couldnÂ’t be more thrilled. Anyway, Thanks again.

The cynical part of me couldn't help but wonder, when he wrote, "We just learned a couple of weeks ago" was it an accidental, surprise pregnancy? And, I'll not even bother to discuss the "14 years younger" and being "together for about 10 months" parts, because it's self-evident what's wrong with those statements. Poor kid.

Well, at least they've found true love. Good for them.

All this got me thinking...you know, things haven't changed that much. Women still look to security (or material goods). A lot of women still think the only way to make it is to marry rich, and maybe that's the way most women make it. Or, at least it's the easiest way for women to make it. If it's worked for thousands of years, why change it?

Except that just because its tried and true or has "worked" for thousands of years doesn't mean it shouldn't be changed. It's like the difference between blood letting to get rid of an infection and taking antibiotics. Sure, people were blood letting for thousands of years to varying degrees of success, but antibiotics work better.

For every girl who meets a sincere, nice, genuine and wealthy man willing to provide for her, there are many other girls who will never have the opportunity discover their own strengths, resourcefulness, or potential because they're waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep them off their feet and rescue them like Richard Gere did to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. And, in their search for a rich man who'll want to take care of them, they'll meet plenty of men who will try to take advantage of them, exploit them, and use them. They may never meet Prince Charming, but they'll have sold their souls, their goals, their selfworth, and innocence for a Gucci bag. It seems like it could be a sad use of a life.

Also, I found it interesting that there just aren't as many dating services for single men looking for wealthy women. It makes me wonder if men feel insecure in a relationship when women make more than they do, and if so, why. I've a few dating horror stories, and there have been times when I've been on a few dates with someone, and once he finds out where I work, he immediately assumes things about my paycheck and lifestyle. Or, all he wants to do is talk about my job or how much money I make, how much my things cost, etc. Things usually break down from there.

I have to admit, despite my determination not to "settle," I get discouraged. I have to remind myself that I don't want to date anyone that is obsessed or insecure that I might make more than they do.