A throwback to the dot.com boom

A reminder of what the good ol' days were like. And, they're hiring.




Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri and Vimeo.

It's called a "Chew" for a reason, woman

Some people have way too much time on their hands:

Victoria McArthur, a Michigan woman, claims that Starburst Fruit Chews are not only chewy (as their name indicates), but criminally chewy.

Fox News reports that after biting into a lemon candy (which, incidentally, is their most popular flavor) in 2005, the woman's bottom and top rows of teeth stuck together, causing her jaw to become misaligned when she attempted to open her mouth. She is now claiming to have a condition known as temporal mandibular joint dysfunction and is blaming it on the candy.

McArthur is suing the Mars Corporation, the maker of Starburst Fruit Chews, for $25,000 to pay for her rehabilitation. She is also wishing to be compensated for her pain and suffering, as she is now having trouble eating, sleeping, and talking.

Citing "personal permanent injury" in her lawsuit, she told Fox News "I don't want to see anybody else have to go through what I have gone through from eating a piece of candy that was supposed to be soft chew."

Martin + Osa

I was sad to see Forthe & Town close it doors. This is my new obsession (for now):

Martin + Osa

Love it.

Common sense says

It's good to know that the justice system still recognizes frivolous lawsuits like this one:

Roy L. Pearson, an administrative law judge, originally sought $67 million from the Chung family, owners of Custom Cleaners. He claimed they lost a favorite pair of his suit trousers and later tried to give him a pair that were not his.

Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign displayed in the store window, Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.

[Pearson] calculated the amount of damages by estimating years of violations, then adding almost $2 million in common-law claims for fraud.

More jokes

from B:

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

A mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender takes a look at him and says, "I can't serve you."
Mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fun guy."

A joke for you

courtesy of B. The setup:

A water molecule walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I lost an electron."

The bartender says, "Are you sure??"

The water molecule says "I'm positive."


The followup:

So neutron walks into a bar, and the bartender says "For you, no charge."

On the V Train

I like New York best when it's like this.



I took these almost a year ago. I was coming home from work late at night, and for the first time in a long time, I felt I had the whole city to myself. For almost my entire trip home, there was no one else on the subway platform or in the cars with me.

Philly

I was in Philadelphia to celebrate CKY's 30th birthday (Even if I was a week late. Sorry!)

CKY's friends hosted a "Bad Taste 80s Party" at Bar Noir. As I was talking to one of CKY's friends, a photographer asked if he could take a picture of us for a Philly nightlife website:

Photographers have asked to take pictures of my friends and me when we're out in NYC, but usually the pictures aren't cool enough to make the cut for the NYC nightlife websites. It's funny that this picture managed to make the cut in Philly. I must be living in the wrong city. Either that, or it wasn't me that made the cut, but CKY's friend. :-)

Anyhoo, we were definitely not the most glamorous of the people at Bar Noir that night, but if you want to contribute to the number of hits we get on our photo, feel free to go to this link.

(BTW, I know I look drunk, but I had almost nothing to drink that night. I think it was really warm in the bar.)

All Carbon visits Pookie and Ann in NC

Wow, what a great weekend. We didn't do much besides grill and lounge by the pool.

My flight was delayed for over 3 hours on my way back to New York, so I read The Glass Castle cover the cover. It's a great book.

What kind of finale is that?

I stopped watching the Sopranos a few seasons ago. No, it wasn't because I couldn't hack the gratuitous violence or nudity. That was the interesting part. I couldn't take the drama. It felt forced. Everything was drawn out and way too melodramatic for my taste. So, I quit the show.


I watched the finale of the Sopranos (talk about melodramatic, the show's finale's been drawn out for years), and it was surprisingly good. I was engaged. I could buy into it (even the part where AJ's SUV catches on fire). I loved the addition of the orange tabby to the cast. I thought, hey, maybe I made a huge mistake not having watched this show for the past 2 years. It's good!


Then, we get to the final scene. I was digging it for reals. Journey's Don't Stop Believin' was an ironic and perfect juxtoposition to the Soprano family dinner, especially given Meadow's earlier conversation with Tony, AJ's identity crisis and warped sense of entitlement and lack of work ethic.. I was starting to wonder who was going to be the one to off the family, and...


Say what? That did not just happen. Wow.

Was it brilliant and artistic? Probably. Was it fucking annoying? Most definitely. To quote Tony Soprano, "I'm a little miffled, but..."

'Sopranos' finale: Do not attempt to adjust your set

Ah, crap

I did it again.

I stopped in at Barbara Bui and walked out with something similar to this in a lovely cream color. This, I took off the Needless Markup website. The one I got at the BB boutique is less of a bucket shape and more of a "squarer" shape so I can use it as my briefcase for work.

Okay, no more handbags. I mean it. Really.

Uh, help?

Lessons from Jurassic Park and King Kong

Yeah, I know those are movies, but the moral of the story is -- mess with nature and it'll fuck you up. This just seems weird, wrong and unnatural (obviously):

An exotic cat with the looks of a mini-leopard and a whopping $22,000 (11,000 pound) price tag has joined a crowded designer pet market that also features hypoallergenic kittens. The Ashera is the result of blending the African Serval and the Asian Leopard Cat with a domestic cat, creating what Los Angeles-based Lifestyle Pets described this week as "the world's largest, rarest and most exotic domestic cat." With tiger stripes and leopard-like spots, Ashera is pictured on the company's Web site wearing a diamond studded collar. It grows up to 30 pounds and sports fearsome teeth but the company says it gets along with other pets and children and takes well to being walked on a leash.

Check out the pictures: http://lifestylepets.com/gallery.html

Catherine Malandrino sample sale

http://www.catherinemalandrino.com/june_sale/reg_rsvp.html

They have the cutest things.

On the used car market

I need a slightly bigger car with better hauling capabilities, more cargo space, and all wheel drive. I don't know anything about cars, but this is what I have in mind so far. Please share if any of you have input or advice -- remember that I'm looking for a used car, so it'll probably be pre-2005.

Chevrolet Equinox
Jeep Liberty
Nissan Xterra
Subaru Forester

Footbed of grass, anyone?

In case you want to run out and get your own pair of astroturfs, here's the link to Piperlime.

Cheatin' cheetahs

Study says female cheetahs sleep around.

Think that's why they're called cheetahs?

(Sorry, that was so bad that I just couldn't resist.)

B and I go on a trip

to Miami, FL. We both needed a little R & R.

B and All Carbon go to Florida

It was a quick weekend trip to the beach. We took lazy walks on the beach, went shopping, sat in the sun and just had an overall lovely time.

We checked out Emeril's for dinner. I'm a little skeptical of celebrity chefs, but Emeril's the real deal. We ate our hearts out, and it was AMAZING. Loved the restaurant location, the decor, the service and the food. I even received a postcard from our server when I got back to New York -- she thanked us for our patronage and commented that we impressed her with the amount of food we were able to eat.

Brunch at Big Pink, a South Beach landmark was disappointing. The service was terrible and inattentive, the food overdone and the restaurant was uncomfortably crowded.

Fortunately, a casual dinner at a burger joint started in Honolulu by two girls working at a frame shop, Cheese Burger, made up for our disappointment in Big Pink.

Unfortunately, we can't really say the same for the boutique hotel where we stayed, the Chesterfield Hotel, Suites and Day Spa. The room looked beautiful at first. Then, we realized that the air conditioner didn't work and the toilets didn't flush. We waited for someone to fix the toilet, and no one showed. We were supposed to have two queen beds but ended up with one king. When we spoke to the staff about it, they were unapologetic and unresponsive. Overall, the service was shoddy. I peeked in the Day Spa, which resembled a small room in the basement.

Nonetheless, B and I had a relaxing time in Miami. I made it home with three new bikinis for the windsurfing season, and B made it home with a cute little bikini and skirt ensemble. Can't come back from a girl's weekend away empty-handed. :-)

Daniel Johnson, Bang on a Can All-Stars

Saw Daniel Johnson of the The Devil and Daniel Johnson fame at the Highline last night. Ever since the documentary came out, he's become something of a cult following. Check out his website: http://www.hihowareyou.com/

His life is interesting (i.e. he ran off and joined a carnival) and begs the question: does genius breed madness or vice versa? We can all thing of more than one example of a brilliant mind driven to madness.

Will Ferrell meets his landlord

He said what? (redux)

Mr Please-pour-me-a-glass-of-sperm called Thursday and wanted to see when we could hang out again.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I have no plans to go on a second date with him.  But, I'd like to keep things on friendly terms if possible.  It was R's birthday party on Friday night, so I didn't want to have other plans.  I told Mr Sperm that we could possibly hang out Saturday afternoon.  He must not have believed me, as he texted me repeatedly to ask me if I was free on Friday. I explained (again) that I had a birthday party but we could talk about hanging out on Saturday afternoon.  On Friday night, while I was at R's birthday party, he called me every five minutes starting at 10pm until I finally put my phone on silent b/c it was ringing off the hook.  When I woke up this morning, I checked my phone and found that the last phone call he made to me ended at 3am.  Uh, can anyone say STALKER?  I texted him and asked if he was aware that he drunk dialed me last night, and I suggested he never call me again.  I guess that's a way to not have to go on a second date with anyone!

He said what?

You know, I don't care what anyone says.  My gut instincts can be pretty right on, and I'll keep listening to them even if it means I'll be a spinster.

Last weekend, I attended a former coworker's 29th bday party.   Before I left that night, the birthday girl's 31 year old brother pulled me aside and asked, "I know it's a bit weird because you're my sister's friend and all, but do you mind if I give you a call some time?"

Under most circumstances, I would have said nicely, politely said "no" right on the spot.  I wasn't particularly into him, and he's my friend's brother.  However, I've been getting a lot of flack lately from friends about how I never give men a chance before I shut them down.  Plus, I really would like to meet a nice young man to date, so I should at least put in some effort.  I gave him my number.  We agreed to arrange date details during the week.

I thought it rather sweet when he called me the next day to chat, but by our second phone call, my instincts began to prove themselves true.

Him: "Hey, when do you want to meet up?"

Me: "I'm pretty booked this week, and this weekend's going to be pretty bad too. What do you want to do? I can make time this weekend.  How about Jersey City or Hoboken?"

(I knew he lived somewhere in NJ, so I thought that was pretty considerate for me to offer to go somewhere where he could drive and park.)

Him: "Why don't you come to Pacific Palisades [his neighborhood]?"

Me: "Where is that?"

Him: "In New Jersey, past Edgewater."

Me: "How would I get there?  Is there a ferry?"

Him: "I don't know.  I think you can take the ferry or PATH and then a bus."

(He has a car.)

I'm by no means a prima donna, but I've never been asked out on a date by a guy who then expects me to go to his neighborhood but doesn't offer to meet me or at least explain how I get to his neighborhood without using 3 different modes of transportation.  I've driven to Edgewater before.  It's a good 45 minutes away from where I live by car or by bus. While I was willing to meet in Hoboken or Jersey City, Pacific Palisades is pretty far out of my way.  There was no way I was going to his neighborhood -- I didn't want to be in a situation where I show up only to find that he had no plans in mind and just wants to "hang out" in his apartment.

Under most circumstances, I would have found a non-confrontational way to flake out on our date, but I was trying to be "open-minded."  So, let me tell you about our date tonight...

We met around 10pm to grab a bite over drinks.  I quickly realized there was a language and culture barrier.  I'm Chinese, but despite being born overseas and emigrating to the US when I was six, I'm a Twinkie.  I don't have a lot of Asian friends (but would like more, if you're offering), and if you met me, you'd never realize I wasn't born in the US.  I think and dream in English even though Chinese was my first language.

He's Korean.   While he grew up in suburban NJ and went to an Ivy League Uni in upstate NY, all his friend are Korean.  He worked in Korea for a while, and he lives in a very Korean part of NJ.  He thinks in Korean, and when he speaks English, he must first mentally translate the Korean to English in his head.

It wouldn't have been an issue except that he took everything I said literally (even the ridiculous things) so we were left having a literal conversation about very concrete things. For me, so much of the flirtation and attraction factor resides in verbal wordplay.

I asked him what he liked to do for fun, and he looked at me blankly.  I asked him what he normally did on weekends. He spent 20 minutes giving me an hour by hour run-down of what he did that weekend.

He likes saunas (not a big deal).  He insisted that I need to visit him in New Jersey, and he'd take me to one.

Him: "You come to Jersey, and I take you."

Me: "Well, we can figure that out some other time."  (It was our first date!)

Him: "No, you come."

Me: "We'll see." (I have commitment issues, and I don't like being told what to do.)

Him: "No, you come."

Me: "What's your obsession with having me go to Jersey?"  (Only half playfully.)

Him: "You come. You come. I take you. You come."  (Voice rising.  Hands gesturing insistently.)

In an effort to gloss over what was obviously going to be a difference in opinion, I let the issue drop.  It wasn't the greatest date in the world, but it wasn't unbearable either.

Until we began talking about what he does for a living.  He's a marketing guy, and he was trying to convince me that with proper marketing, companies can sell anything.  Sometimes, it just takes shock value.  Like the short lived energy drink, Cocaine.  The example he gave was what made the date officially unbearable:

Him:  "You can sell anything, as long as you call it by an interesting name.  Take beer.  If I decided to name beer cum, sperm or jizz, I guarantee you someone will buy it."

I put down the burger I was midway through.  I just wasn't that hungry anymore.

He gets louder, "I mean, there's going to be at least one guy who will dare his buddy to drink a nice cold glass of jizz."  He gestures at the beer on tap.  "And, someone will be like, pour me a glass of cum."

I tried to pretend it didn't bother me, but it did.  I changed the subject, but he kept finding ways to bringing it back to glasses of male ejaculate.  It was completely gross, and by the end of the date, I was convinced that he was just passive agressively trying to find ways to use inappropriate words in a sentence to see if it would bother me.

Even worse, however, was that at the end of the date, he asked if he could see me again.  Since he's the brother of a friend, I treaded cautiously and told him that he could call me, and we'd figure it out.  I knew by then, however, that I'd never go on another date with this guy again.

Somer's Going Away Dinner

Somer's baby's due at the end of the summer, so she's heading home to Sacramento to be near her family. Here we are, all together at Alta for one last meal before she heads back to California. She'll be missed.

Blank Slate Hedgies

Blank Slate Hedgies

Morning Show Talking Head: So tell us what drives hedge fund managers?

Hedge Fund Dude: It’s just never ending. Thinking about what is going to work next. I have a friend who is worth $150 million who is working some new ideas for a fund.

Talking Head: If I had $150 million, the last thing I would do is start a hedge fund.

Hedge Fund Dude: That’s why you don’t have $150 million.
....

I’ve...met my share of hedgies. The common thread that runs through us all is a personality disorder. The only way I can describe it is sort of an inner George Costanza – working hard to stay shallow. Here are a few guiding principles:

• Don’t believe in anything.
• Let the world happen and then pass judgment.
• Bias leads to disaster.
• Be emptyheaded and fleet of foot.
• Change your mind often.
• Observe and critique, 24/7.

Pet Physical Therapy

WTF? I am looking for a physical therapist near my office, and while New York Magazine's Best of New York didn't list one, it did have a listing for Best Pet Physical Therapist.

And the moral of the story?

I know this is a crappy end for anyone, but sometimes people are just dumb.

A crocodile shot to death in south China during a search for a missing 9-year-old student was found to contain the child's remains, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

The child, surnamed Liu, disappeared Friday after Liu and three other children climbed over the fence around a pool in the park that had been used to stage crocodile shows, Xinhua said.

"The children shot the animals with catapults and beat them with wooden sticks," the agency said. "One of the irritated crocodiles bit Liu's clothes and dragged him into water, where he was eaten by a swarm of crocodiles."

Overheard at Target today:

"Mo-om, can I get some toys?"

"Who do you think you are? White?"

"I am mentally dating him.

He just doesn't know it yet."

AW told me that quote today. I found it amusing.

Pictures from whitewater on Bulls Bridge

We made two runs. The first run had 3 rafts with 4-6 people in each, but by the time it was over, most people opted out for the second run. It had been freezing rain/snow/ice all day, which wasn't helped by the frigid river and the fact that almost everyone (guides included) got dumped out of their rafts from the first rapid, which was a fast 9ft drop. (Accordingly to our guide, it was a technical Class IV whatever that means.) The second run ended up being just one lone raft containing PW, me, DC (another person on the trip who sent me these pictures) and four guides. It was hella fun. Friggin cold, but fun.

The trip was run by Zoar Outdoor. These are pictures from just the first rapid on our second run (proof being that no one fell out of the raft :)). PW, DC and I are wearing the blue splash jackets. I'm the one with the white baseball cap under the helmet.

Whitewater Rafting at Bulls Bridge

An Asian male on a student visa

That's what I heard on "the news" tonight. Man, it's a shit storm on so many fronts.

Now everyone can be a oeno(phile)

and become vintners with only 5-10k to make at least 300 75 mL bottles bottles of wine per year. Compared to the exorbitant cost of actually owning a Napa Valley vineyard, it's pretty reasonable. This article brings out the best of technology -- it's ability to democratize.