So true, it's not even funny...

Every office has one, even Oprah's...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/06/o.tinkler/index.html

I mosey into the ladies' room, glance at the mirror, remind myself that fluorescent lights make everyone look as if they're in the final stages of tuberculosis, and head for a stall. And then I see it: The seat, even the floor, is covered in little yellow droplets. The Tinkler strikes again.

To date, I have been able to deduce only four things about her:

1. She is female.
2. She attacks between the hours of 10 a.m. and 8 p.m.
3. She works alone.
4. She was raised in a barn.

I've been her victim more times than I can count, and it has turned me from a happy-go-lucky columnist into a bitter, paranoid germaphobe.