More from J

The week after I returned from Bonaire, I received this email from J of "He said what?" fame:

are you back? i want to apologize for the last time we talked. i could tell you were annoyed. if you weren't, you maybe should have been. if you were, i didn't mean to offend--you're one of my favorites! and i hope you had the loveliest time surfing the tropics.

The email is both annoying and amusing for the following reasons, which is why I thought I'd share:

1. Why is he writing me? I asked him to get rid of my contact info, and I was serious.

2. While I appreciate being told what I "maybe should have been" feeling, I think I'll be able to figure that out on my own without J's help. Especially without J's help.

3. It's interesting to receive an apology that is promptly reneged in the following sentence. In the email, J's apology only applies if I'm offended, and if I'm not, he disqualifies it. J doesn't sincerely think he's done anything wrong. In my experience, people who actually believe they've done something wrong will apologize irregardless of whether the person they are apologizing to is offended or not. J's half assed apology probably indicates that at some level, he knows he's an asshole, but he can't actually bring himself to admit it. Maybe he has "low self esteem" issues and doesn't want to be "down on himself."

4. I'm "one of his favorites?" Uh, I barely even know the guy. I've only hung out with him maybe 5 or 6 times ever, and in the first two times I met him, he couldn't even remember having met me. I think I'm supposed to feel flattered, but that comment just creeps me out and makes me feel dirty. I'll take my chances not being a fave, thank you very much.