don't just listen to this, but actually watch it. the violin play is friggin amazin'.
it doesn't hurt that the hair and 'stache are wicked cool.
it's only the two of them, but they manage to bring out an amazing range and depth of sound.
Perlman & Zukerman - Handel - Halvorsen: Passacaglia
Itzhak Perlman and Pinchas Zukerman in their youth, playing Handel's Passacaglia, arranged for violin and viola by Halvorsen. Video directed by Christopher Nuphen.
21 December 2007
19 December 2007
my mother
says she doesn't understand my blog. she wants me to write more about what i've been up to. i didn't have the heart to explain to her that my life is boring. i don't do much. i just surf the internet and read the news.
instead of reading my blog, she now just wants me to send her pictures of things i've been up to. my mother is a very demanding consumer of my content.
instead of reading my blog, she now just wants me to send her pictures of things i've been up to. my mother is a very demanding consumer of my content.
18 December 2007
We are all savages
What's happening in Abu Ghraib and to American contractors overseas just reminds me that in the end, we're just a bunch of savages.
Remember the Stanford Prison Experiment done in the early 1970s?
Phil Zimbardo: "I ended the study prematurely for two reasons. First, we had learned through videotapes that the guards were escalating their abuse of prisoners in the middle of the night when they thought no researchers were watching and the experiment was "off." Their boredom had driven them to ever more pornographic and degrading abuse of the prisoners."
Sound familiar?
Not much has changed in 2007.
Remember the Stanford Prison Experiment done in the early 1970s?
Phil Zimbardo: "I ended the study prematurely for two reasons. First, we had learned through videotapes that the guards were escalating their abuse of prisoners in the middle of the night when they thought no researchers were watching and the experiment was "off." Their boredom had driven them to ever more pornographic and degrading abuse of the prisoners."
Sound familiar?
Not much has changed in 2007.
Gang-Rape Cover-Up by U.S., Halliburton/KBR
This is so effed up.
A Houston, Texas woman says she was gang-raped by Halliburton/KBR coworkers in Baghdad, and the company and the U.S. government are covering up the incident.
Jamie Leigh Jones, now 22, says that after she was raped by multiple men at a KBR camp in the Green Zone, the company put her under guard in a shipping container with a bed and warned her that if she left Iraq for medical treatment, she'd be out of a job.
In a lawsuit filed in federal court against Halliburton and its then-subsidiary KBR, Jones says she was held in the shipping container for at least 24 hours without food or water by KBR, which posted armed security guards outside her door, who would not let her leave.
Legal experts say Jones' alleged assailants will likely never face a judge and jury, due to an enormous loophole that has effectively left contractors in Iraq beyond the reach of United States law.
A Houston, Texas woman says she was gang-raped by Halliburton/KBR coworkers in Baghdad, and the company and the U.S. government are covering up the incident.
Jamie Leigh Jones, now 22, says that after she was raped by multiple men at a KBR camp in the Green Zone, the company put her under guard in a shipping container with a bed and warned her that if she left Iraq for medical treatment, she'd be out of a job.
In a lawsuit filed in federal court against Halliburton and its then-subsidiary KBR, Jones says she was held in the shipping container for at least 24 hours without food or water by KBR, which posted armed security guards outside her door, who would not let her leave.
Legal experts say Jones' alleged assailants will likely never face a judge and jury, due to an enormous loophole that has effectively left contractors in Iraq beyond the reach of United States law.
10 December 2007
On the fifth day of Hannukah
25, KatieG and I went to the 5th night of Yo La Tenga's 8 nights of Hannukah extravaganza. Here's what 25 had to report:
Hi there. 25 here, guest-blogging for the day. Gotta pay the bills somehow, I guess.
Anyways, All Carbon asked me to report on the Yo La Tengo Hanukkah we went to on Saturday night. For those of you who have better things to do than obsess over critically acclaimed, moderately commercially successful indie rock bands (are there any other kind?), here's a brief history. Over the past 20 years, YLT (much like Sonic Youth) have aged gracefully into the elder statesmen of noise/art rock by continuing to release superb records and touring their a**es off.
After taking a year off, YLT has returned to their tradition of playing a series of charity shows on each of the 8 nights of Hanukkah-- all the shows take place at teeny-tiny Maxwell's in Hoboken, the band's hometown. Each night has a different special opener (typically a older band who doesn’t play live very often), a guest comedian and at least one unannounced special guest. And per tradition, every show ends with an encore set of cover tunes written by Jewish musicians.
Dew Claw (led by ex Hypnolovewheel guitarist Stephen Hunking) opened the show and also joined YLT during their set. I was relatively unimpressed-- as was our friend KatieG, who in a moment of auditory confusion conceded that she would have been much more excited to see Steven Hawking fronting a psychedelic indie-pop band.
Next up were a pair of comediennes, Sarah Vowell and Amy Poehler. Vowell (of NPR and "The Incredibles" fame) read a short piece that recounted the true story of a disheartened mapmaker on the Oregon Trail. Pretty funny in that NPR sort of way-- meaning of course that you laugh at all the jokes out of fear that the people around you will think you don't get them. Luckily, I had a head start as I had heard Vowell read the same story a year earlier at a different charity show.
Poehler (from SNL, Upright Citizen's Brigade et al) was great, doing a brief and largely-improvised piece on Kabbalah-- the whole time in "disguise" as Ira's (guitarist for YLT) aunt. On a side note, we also saw Poehler's husband Will Arnett (G.O.B. on Arrested Development) milling about in the crowd.
YLT was next, ripping through a 1.5 hour set that included songs from their entire repertoire, including their very first single from 1985. The show could have ended there, and everyone would have left happy-- but for the second night in a row, the band had a very special surprise in store.
Joining YLT for their encore was none other than Alex Chilton-- leader of the fabled early 70s band Big Star. Chilton and Big Star are often seen as the missing link between 1960s guitar pop and the new wave/college radio scene that developed in the early/mid 1980s. I don’t want to be hyperbolic (who am I kidding-- yes I do), but without them there would be no R.E.M., no alternative rock as we knew it in the 1990s. And given Chilton's reclusive tendencies, seeing him play live is the musical equivalent of J.D. Salinger doing a reading at your local Barnes and Noble.
Alex Chilton fronting Yo La Tengo playing the Velvet Underground's "Femme Fatale" followed by a Carol King tune-- it was like watching the evolutionary chart of indie rock implode in front of us. Watching them interact was nothing short of adorable-- there was obviously a mutual admiration and sense of deference on both sides. At least twice Alex asked "Is it OK if I count this one off?-- as if Ira would say no.
It was the perfect Hanukkah gift (sorry, dreidel-- maybe next year).
Note: Most pictures and youtube are from the Dec 7 show the night before.
Hi there. 25 here, guest-blogging for the day. Gotta pay the bills somehow, I guess.
Anyways, All Carbon asked me to report on the Yo La Tengo Hanukkah we went to on Saturday night. For those of you who have better things to do than obsess over critically acclaimed, moderately commercially successful indie rock bands (are there any other kind?), here's a brief history. Over the past 20 years, YLT (much like Sonic Youth) have aged gracefully into the elder statesmen of noise/art rock by continuing to release superb records and touring their a**es off.After taking a year off, YLT has returned to their tradition of playing a series of charity shows on each of the 8 nights of Hanukkah-- all the shows take place at teeny-tiny Maxwell's in Hoboken, the band's hometown. Each night has a different special opener (typically a older band who doesn’t play live very often), a guest comedian and at least one unannounced special guest. And per tradition, every show ends with an encore set of cover tunes written by Jewish musicians.
Dew Claw (led by ex Hypnolovewheel guitarist Stephen Hunking) opened the show and also joined YLT during their set. I was relatively unimpressed-- as was our friend KatieG, who in a moment of auditory confusion conceded that she would have been much more excited to see Steven Hawking fronting a psychedelic indie-pop band.
Next up were a pair of comediennes, Sarah Vowell and Amy Poehler. Vowell (of NPR and "The Incredibles" fame) read a short piece that recounted the true story of a disheartened mapmaker on the Oregon Trail. Pretty funny in that NPR sort of way-- meaning of course that you laugh at all the jokes out of fear that the people around you will think you don't get them. Luckily, I had a head start as I had heard Vowell read the same story a year earlier at a different charity show.
Poehler (from SNL, Upright Citizen's Brigade et al) was great, doing a brief and largely-improvised piece on Kabbalah-- the whole time in "disguise" as Ira's (guitarist for YLT) aunt. On a side note, we also saw Poehler's husband Will Arnett (G.O.B. on Arrested Development) milling about in the crowd.
YLT was next, ripping through a 1.5 hour set that included songs from their entire repertoire, including their very first single from 1985. The show could have ended there, and everyone would have left happy-- but for the second night in a row, the band had a very special surprise in store.
Joining YLT for their encore was none other than Alex Chilton-- leader of the fabled early 70s band Big Star. Chilton and Big Star are often seen as the missing link between 1960s guitar pop and the new wave/college radio scene that developed in the early/mid 1980s. I don’t want to be hyperbolic (who am I kidding-- yes I do), but without them there would be no R.E.M., no alternative rock as we knew it in the 1990s. And given Chilton's reclusive tendencies, seeing him play live is the musical equivalent of J.D. Salinger doing a reading at your local Barnes and Noble.Alex Chilton fronting Yo La Tengo playing the Velvet Underground's "Femme Fatale" followed by a Carol King tune-- it was like watching the evolutionary chart of indie rock implode in front of us. Watching them interact was nothing short of adorable-- there was obviously a mutual admiration and sense of deference on both sides. At least twice Alex asked "Is it OK if I count this one off?-- as if Ira would say no.
It was the perfect Hanukkah gift (sorry, dreidel-- maybe next year).
Note: Most pictures and youtube are from the Dec 7 show the night before.
How does that old saying go?
"Never trust a man with pigs."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/12/09/canada.murder.trial.ap/index.html
Prosecution witness Andrew Bellwood had testified that Pickton told him how he strangled his alleged victims and fed their remains to his pigs.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/12/09/canada.murder.trial.ap/index.html
Prosecution witness Andrew Bellwood had testified that Pickton told him how he strangled his alleged victims and fed their remains to his pigs.
04 December 2007
Congratulations, you've been promoted!*
I got pulled into a room today and told about my promotion. Er, I wasn't even aware I was up for a promotion?
* The following Terms and Conditions apply. Promotions will affect changes in title and increased internal politics and backbiting. Expect no additional responsibilities, no change in job description, and no increase in compensation.
* The following Terms and Conditions apply. Promotions will affect changes in title and increased internal politics and backbiting. Expect no additional responsibilities, no change in job description, and no increase in compensation.
28 November 2007
Chuck hearts Huckabee
Since Chuck is all knowing and all powerful, he doesn't need to believe in evolutionary theory, the separation of church and state or the constitution.
Yep, this ad is legit.
Yep, this ad is legit.
Mister Splashy Pants!!!
Greenpeace is having a whale naming competition to draw attention to ocean conservation and humpback whales currently travelling the Great Whale Trail. Anyone can go on to the Greenpeace website and vote for their favorite whale name. (Yes, I'm talking to YOU.)
Great Whale Trail naming competition
One guess to which name I voted for (me and everyone else).
Great Whale Trail naming competition
One guess to which name I voted for (me and everyone else).
26 November 2007
Competitive eating IS a sport
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/wayoflife/11/21/eating.contests.ap/index.html
The group's chairman, George Shea, said competitive eaters are athletes who train for their sport, working to improve jaw strength and increasing their stomach capacity.
Dr. Lee Kaplan, director of the Massachusetts General Hospital Weight Center in Boston, said concerns over the link between the contests and obesity aren't well founded.
Brian Wansink, a food science and psychology professor at Cornell University, compared competitive eaters to other extreme athletes.
"It's the same sort of person who, let's say, would train really hard and compete really hard in a marathon," said Wansink, author of "Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think."
"It has the same level of competitiveness and compulsiveness," he said. "One we label crazy and one we label as noble, but in reality it's the same sort of process that drives both these people."
"Seeing these guys go at a 20 pound turkey is like poetry," he said. "It's like a dance."
The group's chairman, George Shea, said competitive eaters are athletes who train for their sport, working to improve jaw strength and increasing their stomach capacity.
Dr. Lee Kaplan, director of the Massachusetts General Hospital Weight Center in Boston, said concerns over the link between the contests and obesity aren't well founded.
Brian Wansink, a food science and psychology professor at Cornell University, compared competitive eaters to other extreme athletes.
"It's the same sort of person who, let's say, would train really hard and compete really hard in a marathon," said Wansink, author of "Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think."
"It has the same level of competitiveness and compulsiveness," he said. "One we label crazy and one we label as noble, but in reality it's the same sort of process that drives both these people."
"Seeing these guys go at a 20 pound turkey is like poetry," he said. "It's like a dance."
Chuck Norris update
When I last wrote of Chuck Norris, it was to tell you that he can solve our credit crunch if he really wants to. Well, he's no one trick pony. Just to remind you, Chuck Norris can do lots of other things too:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a str*pper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his a** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a str*pper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his a** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
24 November 2007
Holiday burnout
I'm all shopped out and haven't even set foot in a store. Since October, I've been bombarded with emails, flyers, catalogs, mailers and websites that have incessantly announced, peddled and pushed HOLIDAY SALE. So much so that I'm completely over holiday shopping. I'm tired of buying things, and I haven't even been buying. It's not even the holidays yet!!!
Oh wait, is that a Cynthia Steffe on sale? Gotta go...
Oh wait, is that a Cynthia Steffe on sale? Gotta go...
what would jeebus buy?
November 23 is Buy Nothing Day.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/23/buynothing.day.ap/index.html
"People on both sides of the fence can agree on one thing, and that's that the holiday's gotten out of control," he said.
"We've been convinced that the way to show your love for someone is by what you buy them, by what the price tag is, by what is represented on the receipt. And that's the wrong message to send out," he added.
A review of "What Would Jesus Buy?" in "Christianity Today" questioned whether Talen's act, poking fun at both religion and consumerism, went too far.
"Yes, it's condescending. Yes, it cheapens Christianity," the magazine said, before concluding: "But the whole argument of the film is that our commodity culture has already cheapened Christianity."
Buy Nothing Day was conceived by artist Ted Dave of Vancouver, British Columbia, in 1992, and since then has been championed by Adbusters magazine, said Adbusters campaign manager Paul Cooper.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/23/buynothing.day.ap/index.html
"People on both sides of the fence can agree on one thing, and that's that the holiday's gotten out of control," he said.
"We've been convinced that the way to show your love for someone is by what you buy them, by what the price tag is, by what is represented on the receipt. And that's the wrong message to send out," he added.
A review of "What Would Jesus Buy?" in "Christianity Today" questioned whether Talen's act, poking fun at both religion and consumerism, went too far.
"Yes, it's condescending. Yes, it cheapens Christianity," the magazine said, before concluding: "But the whole argument of the film is that our commodity culture has already cheapened Christianity."
Buy Nothing Day was conceived by artist Ted Dave of Vancouver, British Columbia, in 1992, and since then has been championed by Adbusters magazine, said Adbusters campaign manager Paul Cooper.
22 November 2007
Happy Turkey Day!
HAPPY TURKEY DAY!
For more on the turkey, go here.
I'm a little rusty, having not written in some time, so I'll keep this short.
THINGS I DID TODAY
1. Finally make it halfway through QED: The Strange Theory of Light and Matter
2. Take four hours to get to Campbell Hall, normally a two hour train ride from Manhattan (refer to item 1)
3. Accidentally end up in Penn Station, Newark, NJ then missed two connecting trains due to delays (refer to item 2)
4. Spend an hour in Suffern, NY (refer to items 2 and 3)
5. Arrive two hours late to RB's house in Goshen, NY for Thanksgiving dinner (refer to items 2, 3 and 4)
6. Hitched a ride back to Manhattan with RB's brother's in-laws, which only took an hour and twenty minutes (refer to items 2, 3, 4 and 5)
7. Did not finish the other half of QED (refer to item 6). Plan to do the same next Thanksgiving so I can finish the damn book.
18 November 2007
What I did this weekend
I was going to go to bed, but since Yems so kindly hinted I ought to post something, here's what I did this weekend.
Friday:
Pilates at 6:30am. Client meeting the first half of the day. Conference calls the second half of the day. Urgent issues the third half of the day. Off to New Haven.
If you wondered, no, I don't suffer from some bizarre New Haven fetish that compels me to drive there on my free Friday nights. Saturday was the Yale v Harvard game, and from what I understand from A, both schools were having an undefeated season so far.
(As of this telling, Harvard is having an undefeated season so far.)
A had already left for New Haven hours before, and I was to meet him there where he was having dinner with a bunch of fellow Yalies.
(Don't ask me to explain. I went to a small liberal arts school that had 2,100 students total. As in that's the number of students for the ENTIRE school. We didn't have greeks, football, and we barely had sports teams.)
Dinner was a rowdy affair at Morey's where we drank beer and other alcohol from ginormo trophy cups. The game and tailgate party the following day was something I've never experienced before.
Friday:
Pilates at 6:30am. Client meeting the first half of the day. Conference calls the second half of the day. Urgent issues the third half of the day. Off to New Haven.
If you wondered, no, I don't suffer from some bizarre New Haven fetish that compels me to drive there on my free Friday nights. Saturday was the Yale v Harvard game, and from what I understand from A, both schools were having an undefeated season so far.
(As of this telling, Harvard is having an undefeated season so far.)
A had already left for New Haven hours before, and I was to meet him there where he was having dinner with a bunch of fellow Yalies.
(Don't ask me to explain. I went to a small liberal arts school that had 2,100 students total. As in that's the number of students for the ENTIRE school. We didn't have greeks, football, and we barely had sports teams.)
Dinner was a rowdy affair at Morey's where we drank beer and other alcohol from ginormo trophy cups. The game and tailgate party the following day was something I've never experienced before.
In some ways, seeing the school spirit and cameraderie that A has with his friends and alma mater make me wish that I had had a similar college experience. I loved seeing him in his element.
09 November 2007
Back from Big Sky
I just returned from Big Sky, MT after a whirlwind ski/snowboard trip with KG and PW. Brrr.
Montana was cold and empty, and I wouldn't go back there during the winter again. The only friend we made was my snowboard instructor. During the summer, he's a wildlife biologist, and during the winter, he's a snowboarding instructor and cook at the only pub/restaurant that seemed to stay open past 6.
The resort town was really small and undeveloped. One night, we needed to go to the drugstore after dinner. My snowboard instructor had come out from the kitchen to hang with us, and he told us not to bother trying the drugstore, as it must be closed. The town's only pharmacist was at the bar behind us having a beer. How crazy is that?!?! It makes me appreciate how much things have changed these days, and how accessible things are on the east coast.
I've now snowboarded a total of five days over the course of my life, and I have nothing to snow for it except some whiplash and a sore butt! For more pictures of our time at Big Sky, click here.
05 November 2007
I'm baaaack!
Ok, so I've been a inattentive friend, family member and blogger in general. I haven't returned calls or emails, and I haven't been updating this blog either. Er, sorry?
I've been...busy. With what, I honestly couldn't tell you, but it feels like this year has just flown by without much to show for it. But here I am. Back.
So there. No more bitchin about how you never hear from me, 'cause I'm here to catch you up on what I've been up to. So, check back and comment regularly.
I want to hear from you, and I haven't forgotten you. I'm not that easy to get rid of... :-)
I've been...busy. With what, I honestly couldn't tell you, but it feels like this year has just flown by without much to show for it. But here I am. Back.
So there. No more bitchin about how you never hear from me, 'cause I'm here to catch you up on what I've been up to. So, check back and comment regularly.
I want to hear from you, and I haven't forgotten you. I'm not that easy to get rid of... :-)
04 November 2007
Saw the Tom Otterness exhibit
at the Marlborough Chelsea yesterday with A. It was Tom Otterness' first in five years.
Titled Tom Otterness: The Public Unconsciousness, The Large Immigrant Family was the center of the show and features a 10' high, 10' long, 9' wide bronze of a mother and father gazing at their child who in turn is looking out at the world.
My personal favorite was Large Consumer, 2007 which is a giant bronze of a overweight slovenly man sitting on a bag of money with his mouth wide open. A ramp leads to his mouth and he appears to be gobbling up truckloads of oil and other products, individual workers that push goods up the ramp (that I assume is an allegory for cheap labor), logs, an oil barrel, a pack of cigarettes, a diamond ring and oversized dead fish. Meanwhile, the consumer's enlarged stomach looks painfully distended.
A and I looking at some of Otterness' other greater than life bronzes:
As I am fascinated with all things ginormous or miniature, it would only make sense that I like Otterness' work. I first became interested in Otterness when I came across his exhibit Life Underground at the 14th Street A,C,E subway station.
At first, I thought they were his form of subversive social commentary only to later find out that the curious, sometimes oversized bronze statues scattered throughout the station appearing to be asleep at their posts or hard at work were part of the MTA's public arts program called Arts for Transit. I like Otterness' commentary, but I'll be the first to admit I was disappointed to find that it was sponsored by the Man. :-)
Titled Tom Otterness: The Public Unconsciousness, The Large Immigrant Family was the center of the show and features a 10' high, 10' long, 9' wide bronze of a mother and father gazing at their child who in turn is looking out at the world.My personal favorite was Large Consumer, 2007 which is a giant bronze of a overweight slovenly man sitting on a bag of money with his mouth wide open. A ramp leads to his mouth and he appears to be gobbling up truckloads of oil and other products, individual workers that push goods up the ramp (that I assume is an allegory for cheap labor), logs, an oil barrel, a pack of cigarettes, a diamond ring and oversized dead fish. Meanwhile, the consumer's enlarged stomach looks painfully distended.
A and I looking at some of Otterness' other greater than life bronzes:
As I am fascinated with all things ginormous or miniature, it would only make sense that I like Otterness' work. I first became interested in Otterness when I came across his exhibit Life Underground at the 14th Street A,C,E subway station.
At first, I thought they were his form of subversive social commentary only to later find out that the curious, sometimes oversized bronze statues scattered throughout the station appearing to be asleep at their posts or hard at work were part of the MTA's public arts program called Arts for Transit. I like Otterness' commentary, but I'll be the first to admit I was disappointed to find that it was sponsored by the Man. :-)
02 November 2007
NASA Aviation Safety Reporting System
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/14490568/detail.html
A commercial pilot and his first officer fell asleep while approaching Denver International Airport in an A319 Airbus jet, going twice the speed as allowed, according to a federal safety Web site.
In the report filed by the pilot, who was not identified, he said he was flying a red-eye, overnight flight from Denver to Baltimore, and after he landed at Baltimore, he sat on the ground for one hour before he flew back to Denver.
"No rest. Just straight seven hours and 55 minute-flight to Baltimore and back. On this particular day in March 2004, after two previous red-eyes, this being the third red-eye in a row, the last 45 minutes of the flight, I fell asleep and so did the first officer," the pilot wrote.
"Missed all the calls from Air Traffic Control to meet crossing restrictions (where pilots have to be at a certain altitude at a certain location) at the DANDD intersection (the intersection in the sky) in the southeast corridor to Denver. The crossing restriction to be at DANDD was to be at flight level 19,000 and 250 knots. Instead we crossed DANDD at 35,000 feet at Mach .82 (approximately 590 mph)," the pilot continued.
That means that the aircraft was speeding into DIA's crowded airspace with no one awake at the wheel.
"I woke up, why I don't know, and heard frantic calls from Air Traffic Control approximately 5 nautical miles inside DANDD (about 5 miles past DANND)," the pilot said.
"I answered Air Traffic Control and abided by all instructions to get down. Woke first officer up, started down to flight level 22,000 feet as instructed ... Landed in Denver with no further incidents," the pilot wrote.
A commercial pilot and his first officer fell asleep while approaching Denver International Airport in an A319 Airbus jet, going twice the speed as allowed, according to a federal safety Web site.
In the report filed by the pilot, who was not identified, he said he was flying a red-eye, overnight flight from Denver to Baltimore, and after he landed at Baltimore, he sat on the ground for one hour before he flew back to Denver.
"No rest. Just straight seven hours and 55 minute-flight to Baltimore and back. On this particular day in March 2004, after two previous red-eyes, this being the third red-eye in a row, the last 45 minutes of the flight, I fell asleep and so did the first officer," the pilot wrote.
"Missed all the calls from Air Traffic Control to meet crossing restrictions (where pilots have to be at a certain altitude at a certain location) at the DANDD intersection (the intersection in the sky) in the southeast corridor to Denver. The crossing restriction to be at DANDD was to be at flight level 19,000 and 250 knots. Instead we crossed DANDD at 35,000 feet at Mach .82 (approximately 590 mph)," the pilot continued.
That means that the aircraft was speeding into DIA's crowded airspace with no one awake at the wheel.
"I woke up, why I don't know, and heard frantic calls from Air Traffic Control approximately 5 nautical miles inside DANDD (about 5 miles past DANND)," the pilot said.
"I answered Air Traffic Control and abided by all instructions to get down. Woke first officer up, started down to flight level 22,000 feet as instructed ... Landed in Denver with no further incidents," the pilot wrote.
31 October 2007
Happy Sluttoween!
For Halloween, I plan on taking a white flat bedsheet with eye-holes cut out, throwing it over myself so it covers me head-to-toe, and calling myself a slutty ghost. When it comes to Halloween costumes, anything will work as long as the word "slutty" proceeds it.
See: here's a dog dressed up as a slutty ghost. Kinky.
Grrr.
See: here's a dog dressed up as a slutty ghost. Kinky.
Grrr.
25 October 2007
Ruts
Break out of your relationship ruts
A conflict rut
How to recognize it: You argue about the same things all the time and find yourself avoiding entire subjects because they trigger fights.
How to bust out of it: Take a vacation from the conflict at hand. "Tell your partner that the way you fight isn't working and you both need to take time off from talking about the issue," says psychologist Howard Markman. Put it aside for a few days and force yourselves as a couple to do things that you both love. (It's hard, but try.)
Meanwhile, think about what's really bothering you: If you fight about chores or tardiness, consider whether a desire for respect or control is at the crux of it.
After the break, set a time to talk about the issue, but don't try to resolve it. Take turns talking and listening to each other's points of view to understand what's at the root of the problem for each of you. "About 70 percent of small conflicts -- about money, household tasks, in-laws -- don't need to be resolved," says Markman. "Both people just want to be heard, and they need to stop fighting destructively for that to happen."Real Simple: How to disagree agreeably
A romantic rut
How to recognize it: Date night? What's that? That thing you replaced with "Your turn to bathe the kids" night or "I'm working late again" night.
How to bust out of it: You know how to schedule, so don't forget to make an appointment with your partner. Pick nights or weekends you both agree on, and take turns planning outings.
Simply tell the other person what clothes to have ready. (And have fun with it. Going skiing? Have him throw in his swimsuit and goggles to keep him on his toes.)
It doesn't have to be a grand plan: Start a book club -- with just the two of you as members. Or have a romantic candlelit dinner with pizza, beer, and ice cream instead of fancy food.
What shouldn't you do? Hound him about how unromantic he is. It will probably backfire. If you're feeling underromanced, set an example by doing the things for him that you wish he would do for you, like buying him flowers, advises psychologist Steve Brody: "If you wish he would kiss you passionately when he walks in the door, go up and plant one on him -- he'll respond!" Real Simple: How to make yourself unforgettable
The can't-close-the-deal rut
You're ready to take your relationship to the next level -- to move in together, get married, or have a baby -- but your partner won't make that commitment. You love each other, but should you just end it? Psychologist Howard Markman, who runs relationship workshops (www.loveyourrelationship.com), offers four steps to help you decide.
1. Ask yourself if your relationship is healthy. Do you handle conflict well? Do you have fun together? Is your relationship sensually or sexually satisfying? Are you both faithful and dedicated to it? "If all those components are in place, you're ready to move forward," Markman says. If not, try counseling or a relationship class.
2. Make your views clear. If your partnership checks out OK, talk about what you'd like to see happen next. Then ask your partner to do the same. Hear each other out, then try to talk through any underlying issues. For instance, maybe he's not ready to have a baby because he wants to gain more financial stability first.
3. If you don't reach a resolution in step 2, agree to disagree. But make a plan to revisit the conversation at a later date. The person who is holding the relationship back might end up with more power, which can be a destabilizing force, Markman says. That's why it's best to try to talk through what the underlying issues are in step 2.
4. Decide when time is up. If your relationship is healthy, it's fair to give it another three to six months. At that point, express again how you're feeling and what you want.
The relationship could automatically move forward (break open the Champagne!); you might develop a plan of action for how to take the next step (which at least calls for a toast); or one person may make it clear that his feet are firmly planted (cork it). In that case, only you can decide whether it's best to stick with the person or part ways.
If you do the latter, says Markman, "end it as cleanly, openly, and honestly as you can and move forward with your life."
A conflict rut
How to recognize it: You argue about the same things all the time and find yourself avoiding entire subjects because they trigger fights.
How to bust out of it: Take a vacation from the conflict at hand. "Tell your partner that the way you fight isn't working and you both need to take time off from talking about the issue," says psychologist Howard Markman. Put it aside for a few days and force yourselves as a couple to do things that you both love. (It's hard, but try.)
Meanwhile, think about what's really bothering you: If you fight about chores or tardiness, consider whether a desire for respect or control is at the crux of it.
After the break, set a time to talk about the issue, but don't try to resolve it. Take turns talking and listening to each other's points of view to understand what's at the root of the problem for each of you. "About 70 percent of small conflicts -- about money, household tasks, in-laws -- don't need to be resolved," says Markman. "Both people just want to be heard, and they need to stop fighting destructively for that to happen."Real Simple: How to disagree agreeably
A romantic rut
How to recognize it: Date night? What's that? That thing you replaced with "Your turn to bathe the kids" night or "I'm working late again" night.
How to bust out of it: You know how to schedule, so don't forget to make an appointment with your partner. Pick nights or weekends you both agree on, and take turns planning outings.
Simply tell the other person what clothes to have ready. (And have fun with it. Going skiing? Have him throw in his swimsuit and goggles to keep him on his toes.)
It doesn't have to be a grand plan: Start a book club -- with just the two of you as members. Or have a romantic candlelit dinner with pizza, beer, and ice cream instead of fancy food.
What shouldn't you do? Hound him about how unromantic he is. It will probably backfire. If you're feeling underromanced, set an example by doing the things for him that you wish he would do for you, like buying him flowers, advises psychologist Steve Brody: "If you wish he would kiss you passionately when he walks in the door, go up and plant one on him -- he'll respond!" Real Simple: How to make yourself unforgettable
The can't-close-the-deal rut
You're ready to take your relationship to the next level -- to move in together, get married, or have a baby -- but your partner won't make that commitment. You love each other, but should you just end it? Psychologist Howard Markman, who runs relationship workshops (www.loveyourrelationship.com), offers four steps to help you decide.
1. Ask yourself if your relationship is healthy. Do you handle conflict well? Do you have fun together? Is your relationship sensually or sexually satisfying? Are you both faithful and dedicated to it? "If all those components are in place, you're ready to move forward," Markman says. If not, try counseling or a relationship class.
2. Make your views clear. If your partnership checks out OK, talk about what you'd like to see happen next. Then ask your partner to do the same. Hear each other out, then try to talk through any underlying issues. For instance, maybe he's not ready to have a baby because he wants to gain more financial stability first.
3. If you don't reach a resolution in step 2, agree to disagree. But make a plan to revisit the conversation at a later date. The person who is holding the relationship back might end up with more power, which can be a destabilizing force, Markman says. That's why it's best to try to talk through what the underlying issues are in step 2.
4. Decide when time is up. If your relationship is healthy, it's fair to give it another three to six months. At that point, express again how you're feeling and what you want.
The relationship could automatically move forward (break open the Champagne!); you might develop a plan of action for how to take the next step (which at least calls for a toast); or one person may make it clear that his feet are firmly planted (cork it). In that case, only you can decide whether it's best to stick with the person or part ways.
If you do the latter, says Markman, "end it as cleanly, openly, and honestly as you can and move forward with your life."
21 October 2007
my next car
Those of you who speak to me on a regular basis know that I've been shopping around for a new car. It'll most likely be a Subaru wagon, although this car featured on Top Gear would be pretty cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hzRLG8dA-E
(Thanks to CB for the find.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hzRLG8dA-E
(Thanks to CB for the find.)
12 October 2007
Douchey responds
http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com/default.aspx
I feel for him, but only a little. It doesn't make me think he's less of a douchebag.
A note from "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD". Stalin. Hitler. Bin Laden. John Fitzgerald Page. Somehow, I am ranked at #1. My crime - murder? treason? pedophilia? rape? No, worse. A woman winked at me on the internet. I sent her an introdutory email. She tried to rescind her initial wink by saying we weren't a "personality" match . She ascertained that from my first email without ever speaking to me. Here is my crime. Instead of just letting her float away, I let her know that I feel that if you approach me, you should meet my standards and listed facts about myself.
She took this personal email, sent to her only, and sent it out to everyone in America. In turn, every blog in America has villified me. I am being threatened with bodily harm, told to kill and neuter myself, that I am a douchebag, etc. My phone rings and email hums day and night, even the New York Times has called (Is this really an noteworthy news story)?. People feel it is okay to post my phone number, address and personal email in attack blogs.
Let me ask you this? Which friend would you rather have - a straight shooter who doesn't waste your time, or someone who can take any PRIVATE email, phone call or letter and put it out there to the world if you cross them? Anyone of you could be in my shoes overnight. Do you feel you have any expectation of privacy when you talk on the phone, send someone an email or a letter? I do. I did not threaten her in any way.
Let me give you a tip about internet dating. Men lie about their height. Women lie about their weight. If a person has nothing but pictures of their head, they are not height/weight proportional. It is a cold reality. I have standards, as we all do. Typically, you approach people above your standards. I am looking for someone who is educated and who takes care of themselves. That is all.
All of the facts on this website are true. I am not Alexsey Vayner, there are no videos on here of me hitting tennis balls at 200 mph! Just because you can't find it, haven't heard about it, can't see it or don't know about it doesn't mean it did not happen. This is a website for my SIDE career, acting/modeling. I know I am not Brad Pitt. But Mr. Whipple gets work too! All types are needed, and I am struggling like any other person in this business. I like to be on the movie set, meeting the stars, learning how movies are made, and especially eating all the craft service! In my real career, all I need is a resume and a degree. In this world, you are a piece of meat. Current pictures of body and face are needed (I have done casting). They need to know what you have done in the past. This website allows me to showcase all of my work in one place and is used to get jobs in this field.
I graduated from Penn. I took my name out of the database to avoid donation solicitations. It is the oldest UNIVERSITY, not college in the country. I am not gay, although I do try to dress nicely. This is, unfortunately, my real hair. My statistics are just that - facts about me. If I said I drove a Pinto, went to community college and worked as a bag boy, would everone be so upset? I am not jealous of others. All of my friends have something better than I do, they are smarter, more educated, more cultured, etc. I try to take the best of others and learn from people that are doing better than I am.
I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have no emotional I.Q. I am not much of a decorater. I am an orphan. I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio. I weighed 140 lbs. in high school. I come from a loving family - my dad (who died when I was 10) did 3 tours of 'Nam, received 2 Purple Hearts and a Silver Star during 19 years in the Army. My mom (she just died 2 years ago) worked the same job for 30 years. I have no siblings or grandparents and have been on my own since 17. I have no one to fall back on, so I have to be aggressive and go for my deams - I can't rely on anyone else. We all have that instintual survival mechanism. I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first.
I understand the pyschology is to be angry at me. But when you think about it, do you want every single PRIVATE thing you write or say to be put out to the universe? That would be a scary, P.C. world. Pyschology is something I really don't understand. A girl I am interested in will approach me on a dating site, and we will have a pleasant exchange. A girl who I am not interested in will approach, then when she doesn't hear back from me, will delete me in a day or so. Why? To make herself feel better. I apologize for not having the emotional intelligence to understand this.
Every single piece of my life has been put up for scrutiny. I only ask this - do you feel the punishment is worth the crime? An overnight internet pariah for sending a girl a personal email? Everything I have ever worked for in my life has been sullied in one day, by one person. Before you cast the next stone - would you like your life ruined over anything you have ever said or written? My reputation is all I have. It has been severly damaged and can never be repaired. I cannot fight an overwhelming army of bloggers. My future grandkids wil be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now. This is the time when my true friends will step forward.
Inside, I am a good person. I am generous with my friends. I am friendly, outgoing and funny. I take people on face value. I can be abrasive and obnoxious at times - I admit that. Animals and children love me (maybe because I don't have any). I am constantly using my connections to help others. I don't smoke or do drugs. I basically leave people be, as I do not believe life is a zero sum game.
The public hanging of me is making many of you happy. The catch-22 for you is that no publicity is bad publicity. I am getting offers for things - movies, books, TV shows. I have turned down every request. This is not a joke. Don't let this happen to you. Anything you ever write or say can be used against you and can turn your life from normal into a living hell. I think all of this venom should be saved for terrrorist, rapists, murderers etc. All I ask is that you put my "crime" in proper perspective. I sent a not very nice private email to someone. That is all.
I feel for him, but only a little. It doesn't make me think he's less of a douchebag.
A note from "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD". Stalin. Hitler. Bin Laden. John Fitzgerald Page. Somehow, I am ranked at #1. My crime - murder? treason? pedophilia? rape? No, worse. A woman winked at me on the internet. I sent her an introdutory email. She tried to rescind her initial wink by saying we weren't a "personality" match . She ascertained that from my first email without ever speaking to me. Here is my crime. Instead of just letting her float away, I let her know that I feel that if you approach me, you should meet my standards and listed facts about myself.
She took this personal email, sent to her only, and sent it out to everyone in America. In turn, every blog in America has villified me. I am being threatened with bodily harm, told to kill and neuter myself, that I am a douchebag, etc. My phone rings and email hums day and night, even the New York Times has called (Is this really an noteworthy news story)?. People feel it is okay to post my phone number, address and personal email in attack blogs.
Let me ask you this? Which friend would you rather have - a straight shooter who doesn't waste your time, or someone who can take any PRIVATE email, phone call or letter and put it out there to the world if you cross them? Anyone of you could be in my shoes overnight. Do you feel you have any expectation of privacy when you talk on the phone, send someone an email or a letter? I do. I did not threaten her in any way.
Let me give you a tip about internet dating. Men lie about their height. Women lie about their weight. If a person has nothing but pictures of their head, they are not height/weight proportional. It is a cold reality. I have standards, as we all do. Typically, you approach people above your standards. I am looking for someone who is educated and who takes care of themselves. That is all.
All of the facts on this website are true. I am not Alexsey Vayner, there are no videos on here of me hitting tennis balls at 200 mph! Just because you can't find it, haven't heard about it, can't see it or don't know about it doesn't mean it did not happen. This is a website for my SIDE career, acting/modeling. I know I am not Brad Pitt. But Mr. Whipple gets work too! All types are needed, and I am struggling like any other person in this business. I like to be on the movie set, meeting the stars, learning how movies are made, and especially eating all the craft service! In my real career, all I need is a resume and a degree. In this world, you are a piece of meat. Current pictures of body and face are needed (I have done casting). They need to know what you have done in the past. This website allows me to showcase all of my work in one place and is used to get jobs in this field.
I graduated from Penn. I took my name out of the database to avoid donation solicitations. It is the oldest UNIVERSITY, not college in the country. I am not gay, although I do try to dress nicely. This is, unfortunately, my real hair. My statistics are just that - facts about me. If I said I drove a Pinto, went to community college and worked as a bag boy, would everone be so upset? I am not jealous of others. All of my friends have something better than I do, they are smarter, more educated, more cultured, etc. I try to take the best of others and learn from people that are doing better than I am.
I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have no emotional I.Q. I am not much of a decorater. I am an orphan. I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio. I weighed 140 lbs. in high school. I come from a loving family - my dad (who died when I was 10) did 3 tours of 'Nam, received 2 Purple Hearts and a Silver Star during 19 years in the Army. My mom (she just died 2 years ago) worked the same job for 30 years. I have no siblings or grandparents and have been on my own since 17. I have no one to fall back on, so I have to be aggressive and go for my deams - I can't rely on anyone else. We all have that instintual survival mechanism. I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first.
I understand the pyschology is to be angry at me. But when you think about it, do you want every single PRIVATE thing you write or say to be put out to the universe? That would be a scary, P.C. world. Pyschology is something I really don't understand. A girl I am interested in will approach me on a dating site, and we will have a pleasant exchange. A girl who I am not interested in will approach, then when she doesn't hear back from me, will delete me in a day or so. Why? To make herself feel better. I apologize for not having the emotional intelligence to understand this.
Every single piece of my life has been put up for scrutiny. I only ask this - do you feel the punishment is worth the crime? An overnight internet pariah for sending a girl a personal email? Everything I have ever worked for in my life has been sullied in one day, by one person. Before you cast the next stone - would you like your life ruined over anything you have ever said or written? My reputation is all I have. It has been severly damaged and can never be repaired. I cannot fight an overwhelming army of bloggers. My future grandkids wil be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now. This is the time when my true friends will step forward.
Inside, I am a good person. I am generous with my friends. I am friendly, outgoing and funny. I take people on face value. I can be abrasive and obnoxious at times - I admit that. Animals and children love me (maybe because I don't have any). I am constantly using my connections to help others. I don't smoke or do drugs. I basically leave people be, as I do not believe life is a zero sum game.
The public hanging of me is making many of you happy. The catch-22 for you is that no publicity is bad publicity. I am getting offers for things - movies, books, TV shows. I have turned down every request. This is not a joke. Don't let this happen to you. Anything you ever write or say can be used against you and can turn your life from normal into a living hell. I think all of this venom should be saved for terrrorist, rapists, murderers etc. All I ask is that you put my "crime" in proper perspective. I sent a not very nice private email to someone. That is all.
dude, he is SOOO hot
http://gawker.com/news/douchebags/nightmare-online-dater-john-fitzgerald-page-is-the-worst-person-in-the-world-309684.php John Fitzgerald Page Actor/Model my ass. Gawker's right. This guy IS a douche.
I started in "the business" years ago modeling for Wright Models during high school. I used my 98th percentile score on the SAT & ACT to acquire a Mensa membership then combined that with my 97th percentile G.P.A. to go on to a five star collegiate program.
I was educated at the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League institution founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin - the oldest university in the nation. I was social chairman of my fraternity, published the humor magazine and took classes at the Wharton School of Business (perennially ranked #1 in the world).
I have worked & consulted for several Fortune 500 companies, including Time Warner, USA Today, GTE, Sprint, Pitney Bowes & Limited Brands. I have saved 2 of these companies almost $1 million dollars combined. I was the financial analyst during the $680 million dollar initial public offering of Intimate Brands (includes Victoria's Secret and Bath & Body Works) and also created a $22 million budget from scratch for them.
I am an avid traveler and have been to St. Thomas & St. John, Aruba and Zurich. I have lived in / visited almost every major city in the United States, having seen 38 of the 50 states.
I am well connected, having lunched with the U.S. Secretary of Defense & the U.S. Ambassador to South Africa during the time I spent in Washington, D.C.
I have been in the "fame game" for years, meeting celebrities like Luke Perry, Cynthia Nixon, Dave Matthews, Jeff Foxworthy, Joe Montana, Toby Keith & LeAnn Rimes to name a few.
I have appeared in 13 major motion pictures and counting...
I was educated at the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League institution founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin - the oldest university in the nation. I was social chairman of my fraternity, published the humor magazine and took classes at the Wharton School of Business (perennially ranked #1 in the world).
I have worked & consulted for several Fortune 500 companies, including Time Warner, USA Today, GTE, Sprint, Pitney Bowes & Limited Brands. I have saved 2 of these companies almost $1 million dollars combined. I was the financial analyst during the $680 million dollar initial public offering of Intimate Brands (includes Victoria's Secret and Bath & Body Works) and also created a $22 million budget from scratch for them.
I am an avid traveler and have been to St. Thomas & St. John, Aruba and Zurich. I have lived in / visited almost every major city in the United States, having seen 38 of the 50 states.
I am well connected, having lunched with the U.S. Secretary of Defense & the U.S. Ambassador to South Africa during the time I spent in Washington, D.C.
I have been in the "fame game" for years, meeting celebrities like Luke Perry, Cynthia Nixon, Dave Matthews, Jeff Foxworthy, Joe Montana, Toby Keith & LeAnn Rimes to name a few.
I have appeared in 13 major motion pictures and counting...
08 October 2007
rick salomon? really?
come on pam, you can do better than that.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20151049,00.html
[Pamela] Anderson has had two high-profile marriages – to ex-husbands Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, who famously fought at this year's MTV Video Music Awards. [Rick] Salomon, 38, is divorced from actress Shannen Doherty.
And they do have at least one scandalous tie – both have appeared in sex tapes: Salomon with Paris Hilton, and Anderson with Lee.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20151049,00.html
[Pamela] Anderson has had two high-profile marriages – to ex-husbands Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, who famously fought at this year's MTV Video Music Awards. [Rick] Salomon, 38, is divorced from actress Shannen Doherty.
And they do have at least one scandalous tie – both have appeared in sex tapes: Salomon with Paris Hilton, and Anderson with Lee.
a gay bomb?
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/04/ig.nobels.ap/index.html
This year's planned Ig Nobel program included a two-minute speech by keynote speaker Doug Zongker consisting only of the word "chicken," and a mini-opera entitled "Chicken versus Egg," performed by professional mother-daughter opera singers Gail Kilkelly and Maggie McNeil.
Most winners are more than happy to accept their awards from real Nobel laureates at the typically rowdy ceremony, including seven of the 10 winners this year. But there are still a few sticks-in-the-mud, magazine editor Marc Abrahams said.
The U.S. Air Force won the Ig Nobel Peace Prize this year for its proposal to develop a "gay bomb" -- a chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers want to make love with each other, not war with the enemy.
Abrahams talked to a number of retired and active Air Force personnel to try and get someone to accept the prize in person on behalf of the military. None would.
This year's planned Ig Nobel program included a two-minute speech by keynote speaker Doug Zongker consisting only of the word "chicken," and a mini-opera entitled "Chicken versus Egg," performed by professional mother-daughter opera singers Gail Kilkelly and Maggie McNeil.
Most winners are more than happy to accept their awards from real Nobel laureates at the typically rowdy ceremony, including seven of the 10 winners this year. But there are still a few sticks-in-the-mud, magazine editor Marc Abrahams said.
The U.S. Air Force won the Ig Nobel Peace Prize this year for its proposal to develop a "gay bomb" -- a chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers want to make love with each other, not war with the enemy.
Abrahams talked to a number of retired and active Air Force personnel to try and get someone to accept the prize in person on behalf of the military. None would.
04 October 2007
why ted koppel's a news anchor
now i know why ted koppel's a news anchor. i was part of the studio audience for The Daily Show with John Stewart last night, and hearing ted koppel live was like using cashmere q-tips to clean my ears. niiiiice, smoooth and silky. a gillette commercial.
having never been to a live taping of a fake news broadcast, i didn't realize how:
having never been to a live taping of a fake news broadcast, i didn't realize how:
- small all the furniture on the set looks
- what a normal guy john stewart is the camera's on, when he oozes charm and charisma
- john stewart's not as short as i expected b/c i've always heard people comment on how short he is so i expected someone 3 feet tall
- that rob riggle is better looking in real life
- john oliver is adorably tiny
the show only had to redo one scene, the one for dark liquid. and, if you listen very carefully, you might be able to pick out the laughs of b and me in the studio audience.
27 September 2007
Chuck Norris Solves the Credit Crunch
EVERYONE knows that Chuck Norris is invincible and omniscient, but did you know that Chuck Norris can also solve the credit crunch?
Mark Gilbert's column in Bloomberg made me chuckle a bit:
Chuck Norris's Tears Might Solve Credit Crunch: Mark Gilbert
By Mark Gilbert
Sept. 27 (Bloomberg) -- A famous series of jokes uses the actor Chuck Norris, martial artist and star of ``Walker, Texas Ranger,'' as a paragon of masculinity and omnipotence. ``Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people,'' goes one. ``Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris,'' goes another.
Similar thinking can be applied to the current state of financial markets. Here, then, is the world of money recast in Chuck Norris terms.
Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro.
Chuck Norris doesn't supply collateral, only collateral damage.
The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.
Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.
Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris ``The Maestro.''
Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern Rock Plc.
Chuck Norris funds at Libor flat.
Chuck Norris Asset Management made 50 percent on its subprime mortgage-backed bond fund last month.
Chuck Norris doesn't borrow at the Fed's discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed's discount window.
Chuck Norris's curves never invert.
Net income at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. rose 79 percent in the third quarter; profit at Chuck Norris Securities Inc. climbed 80 percent.
There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck Norris allows to be traded.
Chuck's iPhone never needs recharging.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.
Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for borrowing. And guarantees its deposits.
Chuck Norris is the pilot Ben Bernanke calls when he wants to shower the economy with dollar bills. Sometimes, Chuck refuses to fly.
Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market.
Chuck Norris doesn't mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.
When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.
When Chuck Norris makes you a price, it isn't an offer; it's an obligation to buy.
Chuck Norris isn't a market maker; he IS the market.
Chuck Norris can still get a 125 percent mortgage on a $2 million condo without providing proof of earnings.
Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value.
Chuck completed Halo 3 on his Microsoft Corp. Xbox 360 on the day before the computer game went on sale.
Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China.
To contact the writer of this column: Mark Gilbert in London at magilbert@bloomberg.net
Last Updated: September 26, 2007 19:35 EDT
Mark Gilbert's column in Bloomberg made me chuckle a bit:
Chuck Norris's Tears Might Solve Credit Crunch: Mark Gilbert
By Mark Gilbert
Sept. 27 (Bloomberg) -- A famous series of jokes uses the actor Chuck Norris, martial artist and star of ``Walker, Texas Ranger,'' as a paragon of masculinity and omnipotence. ``Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people,'' goes one. ``Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris,'' goes another.
Similar thinking can be applied to the current state of financial markets. Here, then, is the world of money recast in Chuck Norris terms.
Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro.
Chuck Norris doesn't supply collateral, only collateral damage.
The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.
Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.
Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris ``The Maestro.''
Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern Rock Plc.
Chuck Norris funds at Libor flat.
Chuck Norris Asset Management made 50 percent on its subprime mortgage-backed bond fund last month.
Chuck Norris doesn't borrow at the Fed's discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed's discount window.
Chuck Norris's curves never invert.
Net income at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. rose 79 percent in the third quarter; profit at Chuck Norris Securities Inc. climbed 80 percent.
There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck Norris allows to be traded.
Chuck's iPhone never needs recharging.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.
Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for borrowing. And guarantees its deposits.
Chuck Norris is the pilot Ben Bernanke calls when he wants to shower the economy with dollar bills. Sometimes, Chuck refuses to fly.
Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market.
Chuck Norris doesn't mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.
When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.
When Chuck Norris makes you a price, it isn't an offer; it's an obligation to buy.
Chuck Norris isn't a market maker; he IS the market.
Chuck Norris can still get a 125 percent mortgage on a $2 million condo without providing proof of earnings.
Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value.
Chuck completed Halo 3 on his Microsoft Corp. Xbox 360 on the day before the computer game went on sale.
Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China.
To contact the writer of this column: Mark Gilbert in London at magilbert@bloomberg.net
Last Updated: September 26, 2007 19:35 EDT
12 September 2007
Talk better
This is so sweet and sad it makes me a little teary.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/12/parrot.obit.ap/index.html
Alex, a parrot...has died after 30 years of helping researchers better understand the avian brain.
Alex's advanced language and recognition skills revolutionized the understanding of the avian brain... [T]he parrot learned enough English to identify 50 objects, seven colors and five shapes. He could count up to six, including zero, was able to express desires, including his frustration with the repetitive research.
He also occasionally instructed two other parrots at the lab to "talk better" if they mumbled, though it wasn't clear whether he was simply mimicking researchers.
Alex...was demonstrating the ability to take distinct sounds from words he knew and combine them to form new words... Just last month, he pronounced the word "seven" for the first time.
The last time Pepperberg saw Alex was Thursday, she said. They went through their back-and-forth goodnight routine...and...she told him it was time to go in the cage.
She recalls the bird said: "You be good. I love you." She responded, "I love you, too." The bird said, "You'll be in tomorrow," and she responded, "Yes, I'll be in tomorrow."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/12/parrot.obit.ap/index.html
Alex, a parrot...has died after 30 years of helping researchers better understand the avian brain.
Alex's advanced language and recognition skills revolutionized the understanding of the avian brain... [T]he parrot learned enough English to identify 50 objects, seven colors and five shapes. He could count up to six, including zero, was able to express desires, including his frustration with the repetitive research.
He also occasionally instructed two other parrots at the lab to "talk better" if they mumbled, though it wasn't clear whether he was simply mimicking researchers.
Alex...was demonstrating the ability to take distinct sounds from words he knew and combine them to form new words... Just last month, he pronounced the word "seven" for the first time.
The last time Pepperberg saw Alex was Thursday, she said. They went through their back-and-forth goodnight routine...and...she told him it was time to go in the cage.
She recalls the bird said: "You be good. I love you." She responded, "I love you, too." The bird said, "You'll be in tomorrow," and she responded, "Yes, I'll be in tomorrow."
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